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  1. #31
    Vulcan Inventor of Death 1,000+ Posts Mr Spock's Avatar
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post

    Wow, are you going to remember how to put it back together?
    I was doing a full pm on a Toshiba 3500c color machine. I had the fuser in pieces the transfer belt sitting on floor and all four drums out and split open.
    customer used above line on me.
    My response was and I quote myself " I am here to take it apart, another tech will be here tomorrow to put it back together."

    Shocked deer in the headlights look he gave me was worth the phone call from the manager.....
    And Star Trek was just a tv show...yeah right!

  2. #32
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    nmfaxman's Avatar
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    With the old you're back, I reply with "My front too".

    Can I make a quick copy?
    Knock yourself out, but it won't be near as quick as you think.

    Can you put it back together?
    NO, can you tell me what this thingy is?

    We need to get you an office here.
    1. I would prefer a parking space in front of the building.
    2. I already do, and it is bigger than yours.
    3. No thanks, this isn't a good location in the city.

    Can we get a new one?
    Sure. One just like this starts at 16 grand, or That is not in your service contract, let me put you in touch with our sales department. (This was real funny when I owned my own company. I would spin around and ask them if I could help them.)

    Can you look at this while you are here?
    Can you place a service call with my company while I am here?

    Can you clean my house for me?
    I will trade you houses to clean....by the way, I am a slob.
    Why do they call it common sense?

    If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?

  3. #33
    Super Tech 500+ Posts CompyTech's Avatar
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post


    Can I make a copy?

    Sure

    It's not working.

    I didn't think it would with these parts out of it.

    Why did you let me stand there like an idiot?

    You saw me here working on it. I thought maybe you knew something I didn't know.

    Perfect. Except the times when they just walk up and try to use it with you standing there. I just has this scenario today. Was standing in front of the printer making test prints and customer walks up(without saying anything)and grabs the paper from the output tray and says "Oh this is something you're running.." I wanted to say "Nah not me. I'm just here to watch it run for my own amusement, but feel free to take one or two with you."

  4. #34
    Copier Combobulator 500+ Posts
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post
    Some of my comebacks...


    It's a piece of crap. It is broke all the time.

    I have a lot of these in the field and this is the only one I visit this often. I wonder why?


    We are going to get you an office here.

    No thanks, I have skills. I can do better.


    I never had this problem with my old one.

    Well you really screwed up when you let that piece of technology go.


    Can we get a new one?

    No, you can't. If you could, you would have one already.


    I have a friend that works for ****** and he says their copiers don't break down as often.

    Oh yeah, I have a friend that also works there. They sell the same brands as we do and he says they have the same problems we do. I am guessing your friend is looking for a sale.


    The part cost how much? Hell I could get a new copier for that.

    So, you're telling me you have no idea how much copiers cost.


    Me, holding a part of a plotter that I should not be able to hold. "What the hell"

    Customer..."a couple of our guys tried to fix it."

    Me..."Oh, I see. I am doubling your bill"'


    Can I make a copy?

    Sure

    It's not working.

    I didn't think it would with these parts out of it.

    Why did you let me stand there like an idiot?

    You saw me here working on it. I thought maybe you knew something I didn't know.



    Wow, are you going to remember how to put it back together?

    It's times like this I wish I hadn't skipped reassembly class.

    { customer looking confused}

    I'm just kidding, I haven't had any training. Hell, I just got out of prison last month.
    We have one person we were able to track leave a trail of destruction through the county courthouse as they moved to different positions.

  5. #35
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts nekowaiidesu's Avatar
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    "So we get the discount price, right?"

    No. You don't. It's not funny either. I really don't like having to ask people for money, especially when they're asking for a discount (jokingly or not) Plus it makes me feel like you don't think my time and effort is worth the price set by the company. Thanks.

  6. #36
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    "Oh, you had to come back again" --------I see you had to come back too

    "We should get you an office here" --------------Fine, don't need much of an office, just one with a 90 inch flatscreen, pizza oven, and a pop machine.

    "Can I make a copy?" (machine is in pieces) --------------- Sure, but not on this machine right now

    "Are you sure you can put the machine back together?" ----------------- Your receptionist said there was someone else who wanted to do it, is that you?

    "Why doesn't service techs carry toner?" ---------------- My normal Peterbilt (semi)service vehicle is in the shop this week.

    "What's it like to make the big money?" ---------------- I don't know, maybe you can tell me all about it
    I've proved mathematics wrong. 1 + 1 doesn't always equal 2.........


    Especially when it comes to sex

  7. #37
    Support Desk 50+ Posts SlipperyCat's Avatar
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    Sarcasm at my company to a customer will get you fired.

    You just have to take is up the arse and remain polite and professional. Hard to swallow sometimes, but if you want to keep a job that's how it works.

  8. #38
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    Quote Originally Posted by SlipperyCat View Post
    Sarcasm at my company to a customer will get you fired.

    You just have to take is up the arse and remain polite and professional. Hard to swallow sometimes, but if you want to keep a job that's how it works.

    True. I guess it depends on the customer. If a customer was dead serious about comments, you sit and take it. I guess a lot depends of situation. One thing I will not take is if someone treats me with disrespect. I just do my job and leave, not before leaving a turd on the fuser first though.

    However, some situations, you can dish crap right back to them. I never do it disrespectfully though.
    I've proved mathematics wrong. 1 + 1 doesn't always equal 2.........


    Especially when it comes to sex

  9. #39
    Copier Combobulator 500+ Posts
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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    I had a prison guard ask if I got paid extra to work on machines inside the prison, I laughed and told him no, inside I cried a bit.

  10. #40
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~


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    Re: ~ Things you Hate to Hear from a Customer ~

    When you need approval from the IT department for the parts the printer needs and the user starts spouting out the names of people that print to it. Namely executives, principals, etc. I'm saying inside, "Look, I don't give a rats ass who prints to it. I gotta give someone pricing before I do any work!". Bottom line. All I can do is give pricing, I can't make a case for you.

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