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  1. #1
    Senior Tech 250+ Posts
    Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Ctl-Alt-Del's Avatar
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    Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Time for a rant

    [rant]

    I fucking can't stand "technicians" who can't ask even the most basic of technical questions. Seriously, you're allegedly a technician so prove it.

    If you've been to a machine twice and replaced "everything" but still can't post a question containing the specific Jam, Alarm, Error or Self Diagnostic code you're trying to resolve please go somewhere else for help. What does your jam look like, is is folded, accordioned or other? How about the line on your copy, is lead to trail, side to side, what does it look like, how about duplex, or print vs. copy?

    If you're gonna say it "won't print" and you've updated drivers, firmware and "tried everything" please feel free to tell us what "won't print" means. does it ping, print a test page, is it a particular application, does it work from other workstations or not. Seriously, prove to the world that you're smarter than the end-user that called it in and maybe someone can help you with a solution instead of jacking around all day playing 20 questions.

    [/rant]

    OK, rant over, time to get back to work.

  2. #2
    Geek Extraordinaire 2,500+ Posts KenB's Avatar
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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    My machine won't work.

    Please help!

    You mean like that?
    “I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins

  3. #3
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts subaro's Avatar
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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    How about those who asking for help and put half the model number, thinking the guys will figure out the rest. That's really annoying.

  4. #4
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Piss Poor Technical Questions

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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    If you are going to email me a copy quality sample at least indicate which is the lead edge!
    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  5. #5
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Piss Poor Technical Questions

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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    For those who are not good with English, they should just type in the language that they are best with. I think we all know how to use https://translate.google.com/.

  6. #6
    Senior Tech 250+ Posts
    Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Ctl-Alt-Del's Avatar
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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by subaro View Post
    How about those who asking for help and put half the model number, thinking the guys will figure out the rest. That's really annoying.
    Exactly, I saw a post a while ago about a KM-520, KM-xxx are older Kyocera Mita model numbers but the question was actually about a Konica Minolta 520 which is actually a BizHub 520.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lagonda View Post
    If you are going to email me a copy quality sample at least indicate which is the lead edge!
    All they need to do is draw an arrow, how difficult is that.


    Quote Originally Posted by KenB View Post
    My machine won't work. Please help! You mean like that?
    Yup!

  7. #7
    teacher-guide-expert-guru 2,500+ Posts
    Piss Poor Technical Questions

    zoraldinho's Avatar
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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Thank god thread "won't print" is printable view.
    Practice makes perfect
    If it ain't broke, don't fix it
    A picture is worth a thousand words
    If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself


  8. #8
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Piss Poor Technical Questions


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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Amen to this thread!

    Even within our tech's I work with I get stupid, half-assed assessments. Tech's replace whole printers and I find out back on the bench it could have been fixed with little to no parts just by LOOKING. Something dislodged, out of place, whatever.

    Had a P4015 that got swapped out because the tech couldn't figure out why the tray 1 pickup assembly kept trying to pick up non-existent paper. Turns out one of those small post-it notepads slipped between the tray 1 and the tray 1 cover "activating" the sensor flag. The printer thought there was paper on the tray because the flag was activated. Sheesh!!! LISTEN AND THINK!!!!!

  9. #9
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts igi's Avatar
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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    i feel for you and with you brothers.

  10. #10
    Professional Moron 2,500+ Posts TonerMunkeh's Avatar
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    Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

    Unfortunately, there are two types of techs. Those that think for themselves and those who don't.

    The thinkers are proactive in their approach to work. They use correct manuals, update firmware regularly, repair a machine to correct spec and leave happy.

    The non-thinkers, or who I like to call LAZY FUCKING ASSCLOWNS prefer to sit on the back of the thinkers, claiming responsibility for their work. They are the lowest of the low. The kind of substance I would compare them to is three week old turkey jizz.

    They mince into a call full of bluster (usually a recall on a thinker) and pull a piece of paper out of a machine and proclaim to the world "I am awesome". You're not. You're the crusty end of a baguette. No-one wants you. No-one needs you. If it weren't for your wankering hit-and-run tactics to make the figures look impressive you'd have been fired years ago. The more worrying part is you have bred. You have little wankers and they will go to school and do wankery things.

    Eat shit and die, you lazy bastards. I can't stand the way you pathetically squeak when you ring me asking for help. I wish I could skullfuck you down the phone but we haven't reached that level of technology yet. I wish I could pass warts down a phone directly to your genitalia.

    If you have not guessed, I am a thinker. I take pride in my work. The non-thinkers can all go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut, the unspeakable piles of gerbil testicles.
    It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

    Hit it.

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