And the correct response is....

[JDYAL]

If I wouldn't lose my job I would really lose my sh*t on them. Example;

Customer: "My doc feeder is always jamming"

As I look around the machine there are hundreds of pulled staples around the machine on the floor.

Me:"Well Mr. customer if you and your stupid ass employees would stop using the top of the copier as a desk top and pulling staples maybe I wouldn't have to come here every week and pull them out of the doc feeder. Just to let you know next time I have to come here for this bullsh*t I'm going to pack your copier full of C4 and walk away......very far away.

Unfortunately we as Techs are trained in the fine art of bullsh*tery and always try to keep those brainless idiots happy.

[Lagonda]

Customer; Why does this piece of crap keep breaking down, I paid $15,000 for it!
Me, Funny, they usually sell for $8,000........................
Then keep out of the salesman's way for the next month!

[gneebore]

If I wouldn't lose my job I would really lose my sh*t on them. Example;

Customer: "My doc feeder is always jamming"

As I look around the machine there are hundreds of pulled staples around the machine on the floor.

Me:"Well Mr. customer if you and your stupid ass employees would stop using the top of the copier as a desk top and pulling staples maybe I wouldn't have to come here every week and pull them out of the doc feeder. Just to let you know next time I have to come here for this bullsh*t I'm going to pack your copier full of C4 and walk away......very far away.

Unfortunately we as Techs are trained in the fine art of bullsh*tery and always try to keep those brainless idiots happy.

Actually had a customer that was the same kind of calls. Once on a call as I got there the senior partner of the law firm was just getting ready to use the copier and asked if he could make a quick copy before I started. I told him yes. Well he put his paper in the doc feeder and it jammed. He pulled the papers out and lifted the doc feeder to use the glass and two paper clips fell out of the doc feeder onto the copier. He turned and asked me if I was there to fix a jam problem in the feeder and how many times in the recent past had I removed paper clips and staples from the feeder. I showed him the history sticker that showed six calls in two months for the same problem. He immediately took a piece of paper and wrote "DO not take staples or paper clips off of papers on top of copier use the table next to it for that job" Then signed his name. That customer became a service cycle and supplies delivery only for service calls from there on. Of course one of the secretaries blamed me for all the "extra steps needed to use the document feeder without paper clips near the machine"

[zed255]

My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?" when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.

Ooh, I love this one. I have been known to just stand back and let 'me have at 'er! The confused look is priceless.

Otherwise, my pat response is usually similar to above:

"You wouldn't expect to drive your car with the mechanic hanging out from under the hood, would you?"

[tonerhead]

The machine is apart and someone asks "can I make a quick copy?" I have replied "not unless you have tracing or carbon paper" Millenials don't have a clue what these are and just stare at you with a blank look. An older teacher I said this to once laughed and said "I think you have been sniffing the duplicator liquid again"

[tonerhead]

"I suppose it will work since you are here" Lord, I hate this one. I feel like replying "Of course it will, afterall, I have read the manual, loaded the paper correctly, and haven't tried to manhandle the machine like you f-tards".

[kingarthur]

When customers ask if they can use the copier when it's in bits, I normally say "hold on", then stick my left arm inside, and say "right if you hold onto my right arm, then hold onto that piece there, we'll see if anything comes out..."

Quite often I get asked, "oh..you must think I'm really stupid", to which I reply, "I don't really know you well enough to answer that, but apparently the customers always right"....it takes a while for that one to sink in.....

[Coptech]

My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?" when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.

How about "Oh shit! This is the copier I took apart?" I'm here for the postage meter.

[dave w]

Back again?....you should have an office here?


Correct responses are "No thank you, I already own this building" or "No thank you, not into slumming"

Ive had that comment a few times

my respoce is " Im planning on being invited to the Christmas Office Party "

[tonerhead]

Ive had that comment a few times

my respoce is " Im planning on being invited to the Christmas Office Party "

I've also said I'm back for the free coffee.