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Likes: I always say " I bet I could show up at the Christmas Party and no one would blink". That usually gets a smile and a laugh and then I get left alone after that.Originally Posted by dave w
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I always say " I bet I could show up at the Christmas Party and no one would blink". That usually gets a smile and a laugh and then I get left alone after that.
Canon iR5050 in a High School... service call for paper not feeding.
I arrive to find someone had loaded FULL reams of paper in the tandem tray..... WITHOUT removing the wrapper.
My "snarky" comment was.... "Man, if only you guys had ordered the 'Unwrap' option when you bought this machine.... We still have to do it manually."
...The teacher who called it in said, "Is there really such an option??"..... I said "no" and smiled. I think 26 was the number of shades of red her face got.
Thankfully, the principal and I were buds, so I felt somewhat safe.
Angry customer " .....and I'm a personal friend of your MD......"
"Well that denies that rumour" says me.
Fortunately the MD never worked out who the tech was.
At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.
Customer " Any chance you can repair it properly this time"
My responce is normaly " Its job creation, If I did it right the first time I would be out of a job"
Machine in pieces......" Do you mind if I use the machine".....Grrrrrr
"Do you mind if I stand on your keyboard while you type."
Machine in pieces. Are you going to be able to put that back together? Why, are you volunteering to do it?
Machine in pieces. Do you ever have extra parts when you are done? Yes, most of the time I don't put the broken parts back in.
Machine in pieces. You sure are making a mess. They said someone would clean up after me, is that you?
Machine in pieces. How much longer before I can make a copy? One minute longer than the time required before you interrupted me
Machine in pieces. What does this part do? And this part? And this part?.......Trade secret, if you knew, I'd have to kill you.
Machine in pieces. Can I borrow your screwdriver? Mary's desk has a loose screw. Sure, can I borrow your wife for tonight?
Machine in pieces. They walk through instead of around the work area. Hey, didn't your mother ever teach you manners? Can I walk across your desk when I'm done?
I've proved mathematics wrong. 1 + 1 doesn't always equal 2.........
Especially when it comes to sex
Machine in pieces. I hope you know how to put it all back together....Actually I was hoping you were watching what I was doing, so you can help me..
Tip for the day; Treat every problem as your dog would.....If you cant eat it or f*ck it....then p*ss on it & walk away...
Accidentally left a manual at a customers once, customer phoned up to say it was there, my boss replied, "Actually he left it on purpose...hoping you'd be able to fix it yourselves...."
Tip for the day; Treat every problem as your dog would.....If you cant eat it or f*ck it....then p*ss on it & walk away...
Brilliant, I wish I could slap them with such smart answers.
Guess I'm too weak plus my boss give them a sticks...and I prefer carrots.
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don't reply to private messages from end users.
If you want to shut them up, point to something across the room and ask "can you get that for me? My ankle bracelet is beeping and I am afraid I am at my limit."
They will watch you in silence after that...
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