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  1. #1
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts
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    And the correct response is....

    We've all heard snarky comments from customers. How would you really like to respond to them if it wouldn't cost you your job? Let's make a list, I'll start.


    When asked "Why is it that this machine never works" The correct response is "It is trying to fit in with the rest of your business"

    Sex with my wife is like driving a Ferarri at 190 m.p.h.






    Yeah, I don't get to do that either

  2. #2
    Senior Tech 250+ Posts
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Quote Originally Posted by tonerhead View Post
    We've all heard snarky comments from customers. How would you really like to respond to them if it wouldn't cost you your job? Let's make a list, I'll start.


    When asked "Why is it that this machine never works" The correct response is "It is trying to fit in with the rest of your business"

    When you go to pull the miss feed out of the document feeder and pull out the stapled corner of paper they tried to feed then they ask " Why does that document feeder jam all the time" I have wanted to hold up the stapled corner and say "because some nitwit keeps putting these into the machine"

  3. #3
    Technician Techlife's Avatar
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Have been tempted on numerous occasions when asked "why does this machine always have problems?" to pull out a pocket mirror and show the customer...

  4. #4
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Tech: Walking into a customers office.
    Cust: The copy machine was working perfect before the last Tech came to service it.
    Tech: How long ago was that; who was the last Tech?
    Cust: Not sure of either, but its never been the same.
    Tech: Maybe it's due for its regular service....
    Cust: Don't send that last guy back here.
    Tech: Okay,I wouldn't dare do that... (#@#@$!) (Note: Exclude self from this service area).

    Tech: Hows the copy machine now after I gave it service?
    Cust: Much better than that last guy did...
    Tech: Okay see you next time....
    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
    [Exchange manual acquisitions, PM's CTN members only. ]
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  5. #5
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts dave w's Avatar
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    "Why is this machine always slow"

    I have said in the passed

    "It has a special chip inside that makes the machine work at the same speed as the staff"


    also said

    "It has a spell check chip that has to correct all the spelling mistakes, the longer it takes the more errors it has found"

  6. #6
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Well funny thread, I voted for it
    Keep it coming guys, if I ever remember what ignorance I heard from another client will report.
    For now I just smile and pass them along...at the end of the day I know who is smarter and has last laugh.
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

  7. #7
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Back again?....you should have an office here?


    Correct responses are "No thank you, I already own this building" or "No thank you, not into slumming"
    Sex with my wife is like driving a Ferarri at 190 m.p.h.






    Yeah, I don't get to do that either

  8. #8
    KonicaMinolta Senior Tech 100+ Posts srvctec's Avatar
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Quote Originally Posted by tonerhead View Post
    Back again?....you should have an office here?


    Correct responses are "No thank you, I already own this building" or "No thank you, not into slumming"
    I already have a snarky comment for that one since the person saying it usually has no clue how long it's been since you were there or they think it was the week before when in reality, it was 6 months prior. I always look to see when we were there before and what was done so if a customer says "Back again?!" I can reply with "Again? It's been 6 months since we've serviced your machine!). That usually shuts them right up.


    My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?" when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.
    Last edited by srvctec; 4 Weeks Ago at 07:19 PM.
    Started in the copier service business in the fall of 1988 and have worked at the same company since then, now the senior tech, since 2000.

  9. #9
    Senior Tech 1,000+ Posts
    And the correct response is....

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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Quote Originally Posted by srvctec View Post
    My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?) when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.
    Lol. My usual response to this one is "well, believe it or not, all these parts lying on the floor are required for the machine to function. Once I am done fixing this stuff I will reinstall them and we will go from there". This question has come from the highly educated, too. Anytime you feel unappreciated in work, just remember as an analytical minded tech you are capable of actually viewing the same situation and immediately come to the conclusion that the machine cannot function in its present state, without even asking. Your PHD is in common sense, which is not as common as you think. Unless you really DO have a PHD, which would beg the question "why are you working on copiers?
    NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING

  10. #10
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    And the correct response is....

    Phil B.'s Avatar
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    Re: And the correct response is....

    Quote Originally Posted by mikadonovan View Post
    Lol. My usual response to this one is "well, believe it or not, all these parts lying on the floor are required for the machine to function. Once I am done fixing this stuff I will reinstall them and we will go from there". This question has come from the highly educated, too. Anytime you feel unappreciated in work, just remember as an analytical minded tech you are capable of actually viewing the same situation and immediately come to the conclusion that the machine cannot function in its present state, without even asking. Your PHD is in common sense, which is not as common as you think. Unless you really DO have a PHD, which would beg the question "why are you working on copiers?
    it's always the ones with: PHD .. MD .... ESQ that ask those stupid ass questions....

    I always reply " Well you're the one with the 8yr degree.. YOU couldn't fix it? .. hmm never mind I'll set my own broken bone.."

    or the " This G**D***** thing is always breaking down..." Well 'Suzie' over in accounting said she saw you break it and walk away!"

    hell I have a snarky answer for ANY stupid question they ask... yes I think very quickly on my feet!

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