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  1. #101
    Technician
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    Back to 1992, a custmer with Miolta EP 530 called me, he said that there is a red sign lightng at the keyboard, he describe it to me, it was the toner sign, I told him that the machine is out of toner, he asked me how to ad toner, I told him how to add the toner, two hours later he called me , he said that the machine is leaking a black liquide , when I went to his location I found that he added a bottle pf tunner to the toner hopper.

  2. #102
    DoctorX
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    Install

    I arrived to install a fax machine. After unboxing, and setting up the unit, I asked where the electrical outlet was so I could plug the unit in. The lady went bonkers, yelling at me that "The salesman told me the only thing I needed was a phone line!" ("Here's you're sign!")

  3. #103
    Geek Extraordinaire 2,500+ Posts KenB's Avatar
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    I once had a new fax customer who insisted that she could program her speed dials by faxing it a text document, and that it would automagically program itself. (Keep in mind that this was probably 20 years ago - NO fax machine had a network cable going to it back then.)

    When I told her that was impossible, she said: "Well that's how we programmed our old one!"

    Yeah, right...
    “I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins

  4. #104
    Technician treed889's Avatar
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    Not a dumb comment but a nice break from them. Bout a month back I was replacing the laser in an ARM450 at the county offices had just got it all apart and pulled the laser out when the sheriff walks in with some papers looks at me, says "Well that answers my question." turns and walks off. was such a relief to not have to answer the always present "can i make a quick copy".

  5. #105
    Master Of The Obvious 10,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    blackcat4866's Avatar
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    "Just one?" =^..^=
    If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
    1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
    2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
    3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
    4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
    5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.

    blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

  6. #106
    How'd ya manage that? 1,000+ Posts
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    Quote Originally Posted by treed889 View Post
    Not a dumb comment but a nice break from them. Bout a month back I was replacing the laser in an ARM450 at the county offices had just got it all apart and pulled the laser out when the sheriff walks in with some papers looks at me, says "Well that answers my question." turns and walks off. was such a relief to not have to answer the always present "can i make a quick copy".
    I know that all to well. I'm up to my armpit in a machine with more of the machine's guts on the table and floor around me than in the unit and get the question all the time. I once retorted "If you arrived at the garage where you get your car serviced and found the engine lying outside the car and the mechanic under the hood would you expect to be able to drive it away?", and surprisingly didn't get to have a little chat with my manager. I guess some things that seen so obvious to we technicians are maybe not so obvious to someone not in the know.

  7. #107
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Lawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackcat4866 View Post
    "Just one?" =^..^=
    I was doing a transfer belt PM on a MX3100 and fuser rebuild. Some dip shit cook walked in and asked if he could make a quick copy. I said sure and went back to work. He just stood there confused. Then i said no you can't and then he walked away.

    You could say i was trying to stir the pot.
    Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
    Its all shits and giggles until some body giggles and shits...

  8. #108
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    prntrfxr's Avatar
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    "Can I make a quick copy?"

    That one did used to get on my nerves when I was a field tech. Once when I told an end-user no, she said, "What am I supposed to do then? I need to make a copy." So I told her to use the fax machine to her right. "But I don't need to fax it." So I proceeded to tell her how to make a copy from the fax machine. "That sounds complicated, I'll just wait." So she stood there right behind me while I finished the copier maintenance. Every 3 seconds, I could hear her sigh because she had to wait. Finally I could take it no longer and just broke into uncontrolled laughter. It made me feel a lot better, but I can't say it helped her mood. She angrily asked me what was so funny. I told her I just thought of something that happened to me earlier that was funny. She rolled her eyes at me and sighed some more. I used her documents to test the machine and left. Sometimes you just got to laugh or you'll end up killing someone or losing your mind.
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Coke in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!".

  9. #109
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts
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    "There are too many copies on the machine" - This was a brand new CS-3050 out of box with a meter of 0. Three weeks later, it's up to 15,000 at a Police Station. I told the lady that somebody must be making lots of copies when you are not here. I even showed her a Maintenance Report when the machine was installed which was at 50. But she still wouldn't believe me.

    Had a customer complain that the fax on their refurb KM-C3225 wasn't working. So I printed out a log to see the outgoing jobs. Turns out I needed to give them a period of instruction on HOW TO DIAL A NUMBER. Some where dialed long distance with a 1, then a 9, then the area code and number. Some without the 9, some long distance without the 1 and so on. Bear in mind this was a drug rehab facility. I guess I know what they were doing with all the addicts excess "stashes".

    "Machine is too slow" - Customer upgraded from an RI-3530 to CS-3060. Take that complaint up with sales, not service. Apparently that extra 5ppm makes the biggest difference in the world. On another occasion I had to explain to this customer that you can't send a fax and receive a fax at the same time because the phone line is... get this, OCCUPIED.

  10. #110
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts Dalamar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Copier Whisperer View Post
    I once had a customer ask if we had a copier that used less paper.
    /thread
    Notatechie - "I am trying, but I don't know how to go into Service Mode. If I just go in and press *then 2, than 8, then * it does not do anything."
    SCREWTAPE - "Try harder.."



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