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  1. #201
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts HenryT2's Avatar
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    I had a service order come through last week and I wanted to share the problem description with all you great techs:

    ---- Problem Explanation ----
    **BILL EXTENDED WARRANTY** CONSTANT LOAD MP TRAY ERROR.
    ABLE TO CLEAR IT OUT FOR IT TO SHOW UP RANDOMLY IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE. PLEASE EXCHANGE.

    "The Senility Prayer" . . .
    God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

  2. #202
    Geek Extraordinaire 1,000+ Posts KenB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ikon Princess View Post
    How did the Peanuts say it AAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I think "Good grief!" needs to be in there somewhere as well.

    I used to be hooked on the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

  3. #203
    Geek Extraordinaire 1,000+ Posts KenB's Avatar
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    What is the dumbest customer comment / question I've heard?

    Any post by aab1!!!

    I used to be hooked on the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

  4. #204
    Technician
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    I was once called out to a Japanese School in Sydney, where they had a Xerox Vivace655. This machine had a language button that you could press and it would change the UI to Japanese. The call was because the feature didnt work.
    I get there and the operator wasnt available. I go to the machine, push the button and it changes to Japanese. I leave. The next day, same thing, still no operator available, I leave. This goes on three more times, still without seeing the teacher who is putting the calls in. Finally the teacher says "dont send that tech again, he doesnt know what he is doing!"
    Obviously, my boss lets me go out, but he comes too.

    We wait for an age for the operator to arrive. She comes in, pushes the language button. Puts documents in the handler (written in English) and copies. The copies come out in English and she goes off her nut...
    Even my boss couldnt keep a straight face on that call.


  5. #205
    All things Konica Minolta 1,000+ Posts Stirton.M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smostyn View Post
    I was once called out to a Japanese School in Sydney, where they had a Xerox Vivace655. This machine had a language button that you could press and it would change the UI to Japanese. The call was because the feature didnt work.
    I get there and the operator wasnt available. I go to the machine, push the button and it changes to Japanese. I leave. The next day, same thing, still no operator available, I leave. This goes on three more times, still without seeing the teacher who is putting the calls in. Finally the teacher says "dont send that tech again, he doesnt know what he is doing!"
    Obviously, my boss lets me go out, but he comes too.

    We wait for an age for the operator to arrive. She comes in, pushes the language button. Puts documents in the handler (written in English) and copies. The copies come out in English and she goes off her nut...
    Even my boss couldnt keep a straight face on that call.
    Some of the latest MFP colour units from Konica have OCR capability, but that's it... Some people are completely clueless twits who are incapable of thinking through what it is they are trying to do. Expecting the machine to translate? I don't think so Buckwheat.

    "Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls."
    ---Groucho Marx


    Please do not PM me for questions related to Konica Minolta hardware.
    I will not answer requests or questions there.
    Please ask in the KM forum for the benefit of others to see the question and give their input.

  6. #206
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts AyJayAreDii's Avatar
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    I have a librarian say how their machine kept jamming in the paper tray. Over the phone I asked them if they checked the paper they loaded in the trays etc before I turn up. She assured me there was nothing wrong with the paper!
    Turned up and found an A3 notepad loaded in the tray. They had taken off the cardboard front first but the fact that all the pages are glued together may have something to do with why the paper would not leave the tray???

    Was installing a new machine at a privet school. already taken the old machine away and was OPENING THE BOX of the new machine. Teacher with a "head of science" badge walks into the room and ask if there machine has broken down? and complained about how the other machines are out of action too. Yes we was replacing all of them.

    Had a print shop operator complain that the machine kept hold punching tray 5 without them telling the machine too. Yes there was pre-hole punched paper in tray 5, same operator cut a hole into a bizhub pro c6500 toner bottle and poured in C451 toner. taped up the hold and put it into the machine. They then have problems with copy quality couple of random codes (mostly tcr) and printing completely yellow pages. would not believe me when I told him it was his fault! Instead kept going on about how clever he is...


  7. #207
    All things Konica Minolta 1,000+ Posts Stirton.M's Avatar
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    is he any relation to aab1?

    "Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls."
    ---Groucho Marx


    Please do not PM me for questions related to Konica Minolta hardware.
    I will not answer requests or questions there.
    Please ask in the KM forum for the benefit of others to see the question and give their input.

  8. #208
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts Jules Winfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smostyn View Post
    I was once called out to a Japanese School in Sydney, where they had a Xerox Vivace655. This machine had a language button that you could press and it would change the UI to Japanese. The call was because the feature didnt work.
    I get there and the operator wasnt available. I go to the machine, push the button and it changes to Japanese. I leave. The next day, same thing, still no operator available, I leave. This goes on three more times, still without seeing the teacher who is putting the calls in. Finally the teacher says "dont send that tech again, he doesnt know what he is doing!"
    Obviously, my boss lets me go out, but he comes too.

    We wait for an age for the operator to arrive. She comes in, pushes the language button. Puts documents in the handler (written in English) and copies. The copies come out in English and she goes off her nut...
    Even my boss couldnt keep a straight face on that call.
    How were you able to refrain from punching her in the face and kicking her down a flight of stairs? Oye vey...

    But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard... to be the Shepherd.

  9. #209
    Major Asshole! 2,500+ Posts


    mrwho's Avatar
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    I'd tell her she'd need to order the kanji character pack, but the brand didn't manufacture them any longer.

    ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
    Mascan42

    'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'

    Ibid

  10. #210
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts George J's Avatar
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    A customers ... I swear most of them should be banned from using a copier, would make our lives a lot easier!

    Story 1:

    We get a call for a copier that makes blank copies. I go to the school where the machine is located, the teacher that called isn't there anymore. I make a few test copies, everything works. I do a quick maintenance and show the principal that the machine works perfectly. Next day same call: still blank copies. I drive all the way back to the school, teacher still isn't there. I make some copies and everything is fine. The teacher arrives complaining how this machine refuses to work and how awful it is. The usual. I ask the teacher to show me what the problem is. She puts the page on the glass, text facing upwards....
    Of course the copier makes blank of the equally blank side of paper that is on the glass...


    story 2:

    I'm at the office, phone rings, another panicking teacher: 'The machine stopped working!'
    me 'Ok, does the machine show an error message or is there a paper jam?'
    teacher: 'I'll have a look.... it say's 'out of paper' '
    me 'Well, I guess you have to put some paper in the machine then'
    teacher: 'Will you send a tech for that please?'
    me '...'


    Story 3

    I'm on the phone trying to explain how change some user setting on an older Ricoh machine ...

    me '... and then you push '2' on your keypad'
    client 'erm ... where is that?'
    me 'On the right of your display you should see the keypad'
    client 'oh I see'
    me 'So push '2' '
    client 'where is that?'
    me 'between '1' and '3' sir'
    client 'Nope, can't find it'
    me 'nevermind sir, I'll come and change it for you'

    Sometimes it's just faster to drive all the way to the client ....

    Story 4:

    Not really copier related but still funny imho. The girl that works in one of our copy shops calls me to tell me that the CDROM drive on her pc jams. Since I double as IT guy, I find a new CDROM drive and I go to the copy shop. When I arrive I ask her to show me the problem. 'So the drive only opens half way, look!' She pushes the button, drive opens and smacks against the edge of the desk. I move the PC a little bit and I ask her to try again. 'Oh it works now!'


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