What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[rthonpm]

If I had a pound/dollar for every time I heard this on an install, "so does it make the coffee?" In my head I think to myself A@$$#*£ES! One day I will say it out loud !

Isn't that what the Java option is for???

[cyclops]

A friend was working for an airplane manufacturer. He walks by while I do a PM and asks " When is someone going to make copiers that don't breakdown all of the time? ".

My reply, " I think that one is on the list right after airplanes that don't fall out of the sky! ".

He went back to his work without saying another thing.

[Cipher]

Customer: "Oh not you AGAIN, this machine is always breaking down... can't you fix it?"

Cipher: Er... last time I was here was about a month ago and the machine has done like 300k+ since then.

[Jimbo1]

Customer: "Oh not you AGAIN, this machine is always breaking down... can't you fix it?"

Cipher: Er... last time I was here was about a month ago and the machine has done like 300k+ since then.

Of course they were sold the machine on the promise from the sales rep that it would N E V E R need servicing!

[blackcat4866]

That's a great ice-breaker that I use quite frequently.

"Oh. It will never need servicing again." with a straight face. It's always worth a good laugh. =^..^=

[Shadow1]

When I have a customer ask in those kind of situations (especially if the customer asking is female) I tell them: "It's like my wife says... If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble."

[copymon]

If you want to play a great joke on a customer get a rubber rat at the toy store. When you go to do a service call ask the customer to come over and tell them they have a rodent problem as you pull the rat out of the machine.

[fixthecopier]

I have been there for real. It teaches you to think out of the box to find out the void streaks are coming from parts of the mouse nest blocking the laser.

[Jimbo1]

That's a great ice-breaker that I use quite frequently.

"Oh. It will never need servicing again." with a straight face. It's always worth a good laugh. =^..^=

Yeah I used to say something like that and maybe I should slip that back into my repertiore.

Lately I will be getting the ladies to sign the ticket and tell them that I know they will mwin American Idol this year so the autograph keeps me from having to come back after it.

[schooltech]

I get stupid sayings all the time, because everyone knows me as a coworker, but what I will always remember is what a fellow tech told me years ago at a dealership:

paraphrasing...

"I kept going to a company each morning because they had weird residue on the glass. I'd clean it off, all is well, then the call would come in the next day. I couldn't figure out it. Some days were worse than others. Anyway, I told my service manager to head out with me because this on is truly stumping me. We went early in the morning before they opened, and began to observe the office staff. Suddenly, we realized what was going on.

One of the office staff was using the copier AS A DOUGHNUT WARMER!!!! She'd put the donuts on the glass (older analog machine) and would make copies of the doughnuts to heat them up. This worked better than putting them in the microwave, as they became soggy if she did that."


Needless to say, their manager wasn't happy and it was then taken care of on their end. This is one I'll never forget.