What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[mrwho]

"[...]do they really let you play with guns?"

That one made my day! Thank you!

[KenB]

A few years ago we had an account with an eCopy ScanStation attached to their Canon MFP, where one of the users would frequently scan printed Excel documents as .tif files.

The IT department showed her how to place the .tif into Excel.

She called one day, wondering why the machine wasn't scanning her FORMULAS.

Oi veh...

[rh112]

May not be dumbest thing customer ever asked but this has to be one of the dumbest thing I have ever seen a customer do Last week was working on copier in a state office Around corner I heard a noise and looked to see what was going on customer was trying to put two toner cartridges into an Imagistics copier not sure of model but similar to Sharp ARM350 She was trying to install one of them where developer unit was suppose to be Since this was not my copier I ask my contact if someone should help this lady was informed to not say anything as this lady knew everything and no one could tell her anything
I went on about my business a few minutes latter hear another loud noise followed be a few choice words looked around corner and there was toner from the top of copier all way to floor and all over the lady who was trying to install toner Shortly I hear vacuum running I then decide maybe I would offer my advice asked her if I could help she said no everything was ok then told her she had a part missing from her machine she said no I don’t I have changed toner in this machine for years and I know what I am doing I then tried to explain that the developer unit need to be installed then one toner She then informs me she can not install other tank I told her I would try and install it for her she then said you can not install it either Still not giving up I ask her why could I not try and install it for her She then said will if you must know last week when it said out of toner I removed both toners and threw them in trash With that I left and finished up on my machine
As I was leaving I hear this lady on phone with someone just ranting about how she had ordered toner and they had sent her wrong part Sad part since it is a state office my tax money will be spent for a new developer unit for that machine

[Shadow1]

So, what do you do when massive amounts of stupidity come from an "internal customer"

Our regional Director of Technology Services bought 2 used AF1224c machines. He said "Adorable little machines"

He's no longer with us.

[KenB]

So, what do you do when massive amounts of stupidity come from an "internal customer"

Our regional Director of Technology Services bought 2 used AF1224c machines. He said "Adorable little machines"

He's no longer with us.

Can't imagine why..

[20YRSEXP]

Haven't read all of these, I hope for all our sakes we don't have a lot of repeats lol. We had a customer call complaining of black copies. Upon arriving I asked what she was doing when the black copies came up. She told me she was making copies of checks on the back of the orders so she would have them together. I found out the orders came over the fax. Not sure how she even got the fax paper to feed.... Think she would have called for jamming before she got her thermal paper to feed thru so she could copy the checks onto the back...........

[Shadow1]

Had one person in an office always asking "can you make it go any faster," or threatening to push it out a window, blow it up, etc. Very snooty, very low on their corporate totem pole, and in several cases responsible for broken parts on what was a piece of junk to begin with.

I finally got tired of it, did my best "look around like I'm not supposed to do this and don't want to get caught" routine," grabbed a piece of paper and wrote "9.6 meters per second squared" on top and "Google it" underneath, folded it in half and handed it to her "on the sly."

I turned around without another word and started back working. About 5 minutes later I heard "HEY! That's gravity!"

Make it go faster = acceleration. Gravity will do that...

She didn't get it, but she left me alone.

[mrwho]

Had one person in an office always asking "can you make it go any faster," or threatening to push it out a window, blow it up, etc. Very snooty, very low on their corporate totem pole, and in several cases responsible for broken parts on what was a piece of junk to begin with.

I finally got tired of it, did my best "look around like I'm not supposed to do this and don't want to get caught" routine," grabbed a piece of paper and wrote "9.6 meters per second squared" on top and "Google it" underneath, folded it in half and handed it to her "on the sly."

I turned around without another word and started back working. About 5 minutes later I heard "HEY! That's gravity!"

Make it go faster = acceleration. Gravity will do that...

She didn't get it, but she left me alone.

Very subtle approach - most of my PITA (Pain In The youknowwhere) customers don't go that far.

[duct tape]

Can we speed this machine up , I would like to make some color copies,can we just put color toner in it. You were just here yesterday, service history shows we haven't been there in 6 months, plus I've never been here before.

[Karsten]

May not be dumbest thing customer ever asked but this has to be one of the dumbest thing I have ever seen a customer do Last week was working on copier in a state office Around corner I heard a noise and looked to see what was going on customer was trying to put two toner cartridges into an Imagistics copier not sure of model but similar to Sharp ARM350 She was trying to install one of them where developer unit was suppose to be Since this was not my copier I ask my contact if someone should help this lady was informed to not say anything as this lady knew everything and no one could tell her anything
I went on about my business a few minutes latter hear another loud noise followed be a few choice words looked around corner and there was toner from the top of copier all way to floor and all over the lady who was trying to install toner Shortly I hear vacuum running I then decide maybe I would offer my advice asked her if I could help she said no everything was ok then told her she had a part missing from her machine she said no I don’t I have changed toner in this machine for years and I know what I am doing I then tried to explain that the developer unit need to be installed then one toner She then informs me she can not install other tank I told her I would try and install it for her she then said you can not install it either Still not giving up I ask her why could I not try and install it for her She then said will if you must know last week when it said out of toner I removed both toners and threw them in trash With that I left and finished up on my machine
As I was leaving I hear this lady on phone with someone just ranting about how she had ordered toner and they had sent her wrong part Sad part since it is a state office my tax money will be spent for a new developer unit for that machine

I've had that. State Office, Sharp AR-M450. They called and said we had sent them the wrong toner. I get over there to check it out and they had taken out the Developer Unit and thrown it away. Despite them being on a service contract they paid for a new unit + labor.
Just last week I had a customer call and say their copier isn't working. They press start and nothing happens. I looked at the dispaly and sure enough it says "load paper"