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  1. #651
    Junior Member Ben Franklin's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Customer puts a black and white photo on the glass of a color copier and asks why the resulting print hasn't been made color.


  2. #652
    Technician
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    A customer once asked me why their paper was so sharp and why they kept getting paper cuts from it.....


  3. #653
    Major Asshole! 2,500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    mrwho's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    When the customer rides your ass because "you don't calibrate the machine often enough" but keeps printing the jobs with the fiery option "colorwise off" because "the colors come out more natural"...

    ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
    Mascan42

    'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'

    Ibid

  4. #654
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts kingarthur's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    not so much a dumb question, but a dumb action, customer logs a call in the afternoon, "can't print to device, have tried more than 1 pc so it has to be the copier", pop in next morning as passing & it's printing..... another call logged just after lunch today, same thing, I had to go & look at another of theirs so looked at this at same time, went to "devices & printers" it's greyed out, check network port, no lights flashing, trace network cable to source, it's in a wireless router....no lights on the router, it's plugged in to an extension lead....no lights on the extension lead....check mains socket....it's turned off... apparently the person who sits there finishes at 1 and switches everything off....

    Tip for the day; Treat every problem as your dog would.....If you cant eat it or f*ck it....then p*ss on it & walk away...

  5. #655
    Junior Member Andysnave's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Had a customer ring up a few years ago for a chargeable call on some ancient Minolta or Canon. I asked for the model of the machine, details of the problem and also if possible the serial number so I could prepare their paperwork before I came out.
    "It's a chubby little copier that jams a lot. The serial number is 220-240 V 50-60 Hz."..........................


    "Unfortunately we're very busy at the moment, goodbye!"


  6. #656
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Phil B.'s Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    went to a call this AM... customer said it kept jamming when trying to copy ( IR 2200 )

    got there.. she had ran an errand..

    took blank paper .. stuck it in the ADF... pulled all 32 pgs thru NPF

    waited for her to get back..asked 'Missy' to show me what she was doing...

    20pgs STAPLED TOGETHER.. she stuck in the ADF.. pressed START


    " SEE!!!! IT'S BEEN DOING THIS ALL MORNING LONG .... FIX THE DAMN THING"

    Ma'am please hold on a second.. whipped my pocket knife out .. yanked the staples.. stuck the stack back in ADF..

    No Runs.. no Drips.. No Errors.

    THEN she had the NERVE to ask me NOT TO CHARGE " cuz my boss will be PISSED at me"

    Sorry $95 please and May I speak to your BOSS?

    needless to say.. she called the office AND THE O.M. stood WITH ME! ( and yesssss.. her boss WAS PISSED! OFW! )


  7. #657
    Senior Tech 250+ Posts
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil B. View Post
    went to a call this AM... customer said it kept jamming when trying to copy ( IR 2200 )

    got there.. she had ran an errand..

    took blank paper .. stuck it in the ADF... pulled all 32 pgs thru NPF

    waited for her to get back..asked 'Missy' to show me what she was doing...

    20pgs STAPLED TOGETHER.. she stuck in the ADF.. pressed START


    " SEE!!!! IT'S BEEN DOING THIS ALL MORNING LONG .... FIX THE DAMN THING"

    Ma'am please hold on a second.. whipped my pocket knife out .. yanked the staples.. stuck the stack back in ADF..

    No Runs.. no Drips.. No Errors.

    THEN she had the NERVE to ask me NOT TO CHARGE " cuz my boss will be PISSED at me"

    Sorry $95 please and May I speak to your BOSS?

    needless to say.. she called the office AND THE O.M. stood WITH ME! ( and yesssss.. her boss WAS PISSED! OFW! )

    Had a a few customers wit typewriters that commonly would buy after market ribbons. Not a problem if they bought the right style to be able to use the correcting lift off feature. There were three type of ribbon and all used the same cartridges. A multi strike, a non-correctable carbon and the correctable film ribbons. Quite a few times I had to write up a service call for the wrong ribbon style when the customer called in correction key not working. If it was a contract customer no big deal I wrote it up and did an unscheduled pm on the machine to save a call in the future. The charge calls were also pm'd but all the techs working in the company were told to put specifically the real reason for the charge. Worst ones I actually went into the supply closet and put a message on the ribbons "do not use in correcting typewriter will not correct" Had way too many people call again in two to three weeks again. And right there most of the time in their trash can or next to the typewriter was the box I had written my note. And they got charged without any consideration for it being a repeat call. Boy were there some fun conversations with the office managers when I went into the office the next morning.


  8. #658
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts FrohnB's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Had one yesterday. Customer called in and said machine was "burning the yellow toner". I asked her if she meant "burning THROUGH yellow toner (like going through yellow too fast), she said "No, the yellow toner is burnt to almost a yellow/brown color". Confused as all hell, I told her that I had a call up that way (40 miles away), and I would stop by and check it out while I was there. I finish my other call, with the thought of "burnt toner? WTH?" swirling around my head the whole time. I get over there, and notice a red light on the machine, Message reading "Waste Toner bottle Full", I ask customer why she didn't mention that and show her how to switch it out, and as I pull out the Old waste bottle she Exclaims "THERE, that's the burnt yellow toner I was talking about". FacePalm!! Had to explain to her it was the mix of waste toner (which she had a hard time understanding).


    Also had one a few months ago. Call for ADF jamming. Show up and customer explains that the ADF will run better or worse depending on how hard they pressed the Start key. If they pressed it "too hard, it would add pages to the final output, and too soft it would run slow". Told customer I would check to see what it does. After cleaning dust off of machine for 30 minutes and testing Start button (no problem), went and told the customer I recalibrated the pressure on the start button so it would work with a light push of the finger. . She says, "I knew there must be a setting in there for that!!"


  9. #659
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Lagonda's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Heres one from a salesman.......do we have an adaption kit for the visual impaired to use a photocopier?
    Oh well if he makes the sale we'll never have a complaint about copy quality!

    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  10. #660
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    ZOOTECH's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lagonda View Post
    Heres one from a salesman.......do we have an adaption kit for the visual impaired to use a photocopier?
    Oh well if he makes the sale we'll never have a complaint about copy quality!
    Well, I did service a copier at a 'Blindness Aware Center' once for a CQ problem - it looked fine to me.😉

    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

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