What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

**Coptech** · 07-12-2019

Originally Posted by tonerhead

My favorite of recent is everyone in office can print/scan except Dick. So Dick calls us to fix the copier because he can't print/scan. This is an IT issue Dick, have you spoken to your IT dept? He argues his computer is working better than ever with everything and being it is a print/scan issue it must be the copier at fault. Tell you what Dick, I will check the copier and fix your print/scan issue, however, if I have to do anything on your computer or network, it is billable, how does that sound? Not acceptable after all they have a maintenance plan. I arrive, look at machine log. Nothing wrong with copier Dick, do you want to print/scan? I would like to adjust your computer Dick, do you want to roll the dice? If I can get you to print/scan you will be charged, if not, no charge. GUESS WHAT???

That chicken Sh!t, said guess I will have IT check into it further. BTW Dick is not the real name, just the nickname I gave him.

Did you make him aware that you have formally "deemed him a dick"? Free of charge! How can he complain about that?

**tsbservice** · 07-12-2019

Originally Posted by tonerhead

My favorite of recent is everyone in office can print/scan except Dick. So Dick calls us to fix the copier because he can't print/scan. This is an IT issue Dick, have you spoken to your IT dept? He argues his computer is working better than ever with everything and being it is a print/scan issue it must be the copier at fault. Tell you what Dick, I will check the copier and fix your print/scan issue, however, if I have to do anything on your computer or network, it is billable, how does that sound? Not acceptable after all they have a maintenance plan. I arrive, look at machine log. Nothing wrong with copier Dick, do you want to print/scan? I would like to adjust your computer Dick, do you want to roll the dice? If I can get you to print/scan you will be charged, if not, no charge. GUESS WHAT???

That chicken Sh!t, said guess I will have IT check into it further. BTW Dick is not the real name, just the nickname I gave him.

This was good writing and hilarious.
But if every person in medium sized or big office can call for service on their own that's not so good.
Wait, is Dicky some sort of manager? This can explain such a stupidity

**Lagonda** · 07-15-2019

I ask IT twozzer for a postal address so I can send them out new serial number sticker for their printer and he gives me their email address.
No wonder I can't wait to get out of this industry

**tonerhead** · 07-15-2019

Originally Posted by tsbservice

This was good writing and hilarious.
But if every person in medium sized or big office can call for service on their own that's not so good.
Wait, is Dicky some sort of manager? This can explain such a stupidity

Dick is higher level for local branch. Thinks he is "computer lit" thinks copier service techs are beneath his position status.

**tonerhead** · 07-15-2019

One of my favorites a while back was I got urgent call from dispatch that this customer was on a time crunch and get over there asap.

I talked to the lady in charge. Oh, thank God you are here we need to get this to our vendor asap. She proceeds to tell me that she printed it to the copier and was going to use the copier to email it to her vendor and it won't go through.

Wait a minute, am I hearing you correctly? You printed it to the copier, so you can email it to the vendor, and it won't go through?

Yes, that's right

Why didn't you just attach it to an email from your pc?

That's what I would normally do, but the internet is down, so I have to email it from the copier.

**gneebore** · 07-15-2019

Originally Posted by tonerhead

Dick is higher level for local branch. Thinks he is "computer lit" thinks copier service techs are beneath his position status.

Yeap ran into those types a few times. Even had one of the IT gurus insist hat DHCP needed to be left turned on because the smart software would find the new address of the copier each time just like the computers would when they were shut off and on. I did what he wanted and then had him and the office manager sign that "according to instructions DHCP was left engaged on the copier" I then explained we were not responsible for software but would be quite happy to set the address permanently to whatever but that there has to be a set address and not a variable one since the machine was designed to use only one ip address when accepting print jobs

**gneebore** · 07-15-2019

Originally Posted by tonerhead

One of my favorites a while back was I got urgent call from dispatch that this customer was on a time crunch and get over there asap.

I talked to the lady in charge. Oh, thank God you are here we need to get this to our vendor asap. She proceeds to tell me that she printed it to the copier and was going to use the copier to email it to her vendor and it won't go through.

Wait a minute, am I hearing you correctly? You printed it to the copier, so you can email it to the vendor, and it won't go through?

Yes, that's right

Why didn't you just attach it to an email from your pc?

That's what I would normally do, but the internet is down, so I have to email it from the copier.

Actually had a multi function machine with all the bells and whistles plus a fax modem. And one rather young secretary thought she was scanning the documents to the preset emails addresses when she hit send to preset fax numbers. The faxes she was sending to were programmed in with the name of the person the faxes were being sent to. It was a construction company and they found it was easier to set up small fax machines in some of their job site trailers than trying to get a computer network set up miles from the nearest offices. Phone lines some problems but if there were electric lines nearby then there were probably phone lines too. She actually had never used a stand alone fax machine and thought the preset fax functions for the people she was sending them to was actually just an email. I mean she thought she scanned to email with the doc feeder and sent documents and pictures to other people that way with the copier so what was different with the fax button.

**Grey** · 09-05-2019

Here is another one to make your day!

Customer tells me they ran out of toner...machine will not copy at all.

So Betty goes to the coffee break room and gets the dry powder creamer supplies.

"Why are the copies so crappy???"

"We added plenty of new dry powder, right up to the top of the hopper!!!"

Toshiba 702a about 1979.

Grey

**BaconSteve** · 09-15-2019

The following four words uttered from a complete retard of a customer make me want to grab them, and toss them out a f*****g window... “oh you’re back again?”... ESPECIALLY when I have either NEVER been there before, or haven’t been there in over a year!!! WTF. OR, if I I’m there on a part return OR... what if I’m just not f******g perfect and had a recall and had to come back! Like you b*tches never make mistakes. UGH! F.U a-hole! That is the moment I seriously question my life choices. I feel better now... hope I posted this in the correct forum, lol!

**rrrohan** · 09-18-2019

go to customer who had bad print quality "i already tried replacing all the toners".

most of which had atleast 40% remaining and are now in a huge shared dumpster.

Its fun when the boss rings up complaining about getting charged for toners and getting to dob in the name of staff member that is to blame