What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[mascan42]

I had somebody last week get a multi-feed jam on a Di750. Anybody who knows these machines knows you have to clear the paper from the side first, because the paper can be half in the vertical transport and half in the paper process unit. If you pull out the process unit first, you wind up with paper wedged in the corner of the entrance guide.

So of course, with a multifeed, and 5 sheets of paper half in and half out, the customer opens the process unit first. And it won't open, because there's a thick wad of paper caught between the two units. So what does he do? He pulls harder. And harder. And har- SNAP! There goes the process unit handle. And the screw that held it on - broken in half. Exactly how hard do you have to pull to break a stainless steel screw in half?

And the worse part - this is the second time they've done this in the past 2 years. So after drilling out the screw a second time, there's no way another screw will be able to go in there. So that handle will be held on with crazy glue until these people come to their senses and replace their 8 year old machine.

They asked what can be done to prevent this - I told them find whoever did it and take their copier privileges away. Nobody who pulls on a handle hard enough to break the screws in half has any business going near a copy machine.

[apache_cat]

Had a customer load the Large capacity feeder VERTICALLY! Don't know who had the patience to that standing reams on their side.

LOL. Like shadow says are they just screwing with out minds.

[mrwho]

This small thing I just recalled just illustrates quite well, to anyone new to this thread, the average copier operator - i.e. someone not qualified to do anything else:

We had this customer (public service) with an old Konica 4045 (anyone ever got the urge of carrying an hammer to some service calls?) and there was this lady whose sole job was to sit in the cubicle with the machine and take copies with it - on her free time she would read her pink magazines or stare at the walls.

Then, this one time, she was observing me while I was servicing the machine (exciting, isn't it? Beats counting the spiderwebs on the ceiling) when a screw escapes and hits the floor. Not missing a beat, I extend my arm and use the magnetized tip of the screwdriver to pick up the screw without any effort.

She opens her eyes as wide as you can imagine, as if Copperfield himself was levitating in front of her, and asked me in awe "How did you do that?"

"Erm... it's a magnet... you can pick up metal things with it...?", I explained, while sticking a screw to the screwdriver's tip and off again. "A mag...net, you say? Well, I never heard of that! Where can you get it?" "Try a hardware store." "Sure! I will! Thanks!"

I surely felt like Houdini back then!

[blackcat4866]

The magnet thing is great! LOL! That reminds me of a prank I pulled on a co-worker back when there was two of us in the service department, not just one. (It's harder to pull pranks on yourself.)

We used to pair up on the 55 cpm & faster PMs to speed them up. For some reason we always used my toolcase. Maybe because his toolcase looked more like a bucket, everything just tossed in every which way.

So I'd be working on something, and offhandedly say, "Hey, hand me that brass magnet. I dropped the damn drum ground screw again...". Wouldn't you know it, he'd start digging in the toolcase. Then nearly 10 minutes later he'd say, "What did you want?"

[FASTSTI]

Brand new unit network installed, every time at 5:30-6pm the machine looses connectivity. The customer claims we manufacture faulty equipment that we are horrible and the machine is a lemon. I show up after hours to verify the problem with him a good afternoon sir turns immediately into him ranting on and on about this is ridiculous etc.. We walk over to the unit he demonstrates how he can't scan to email, and tells me you see it's a lemon, I walk to the side of the machine network cable is on the floor disconnected I plug it in he scans and I said what lemon? The cleaners would unplug the ethernet cable and one of them would connect his laptop and stream music while cleaning but would sometimes forget to plug it back in.

I wish you all could've seen the facial expression now that is a kodak moment

[Morlock49]

The best one I ever came across was a customer who called in about his sharp copier. He said the machine was calling for a pm, and so he serviced it, but he was now only getting blank copies.

When arrived at his office, he showed me this immaculately clean copier. He was really proud of his work, and when he showed me the inside, I almost fell on the floor laughing. He had emptied all the "black stuff" from the toner and dev units, washed and dried them, but the piece de resistance, Polished the drum to a high mirror bright aluminium finish.


Customers.....you gotta love them.

[nathansipe]

I got a call for a title loan company on their sharp arm350 for jamming in the fuser and bad quality when it does pass paper. The customer is one of those fix it yourselfer guys even when they clearly have no business "fixing" anything. He shows me what its doing, but I am stumped. I just said Im ordering new fuser rollers since they arent working right. He asked if it had something to do with him taking out the fuser and cleaning ALL rollers with windex. I laughed then left to call my boss.

Funny thing is we paid out of pocket for the fuser because the customer is the brother in law to the owner. shouldve had a V8

[_Brent_]

I had a service call on a machine that would not power up. Before going on-site I asked client to verify the printer's power cord was plugged in to an outlet. When I arrived on-site, I verified the printer's power cord was plugged in to an outlet. Problem was the power strip was not pluuged in !!!!

[KenB]

Many moons ago (when fax was all the rage), I had an account less than a mile from my house that over a course of a month or so, put up three separate calls for no power on their Canon fax.

Each time, the power cord had somehow mysteriously gotten pulled out enough from the outlet that it didn't make contact.

Each of these calls took less than a minute to "fix", but nobody knew how this was happening.

When I called them, they always told me "Just come fix it, our power is fine."

The goofy part was that this was at a local power company substation.

I'm surprised my lights are still on...

[Shadow1]

I had a service call on a machine that would not power up. Before going on-site I asked client to verify the printer's power cord was plugged in to an outlet. When I arrived on-site, I verified the printer's power cord was plugged in to an outlet. Problem was the power strip was not pluuged in !!!!

I had a customer plug the power strip back into itself and couldn't figure out why it didn't work. Is there such a thing as having a Negative IQ???