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  1. #521
    Technician
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?


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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    College Professor who asked "What's this mean, 'add paper'?
    Gee Doc... I'll take a look at it for ya...

  2. #522
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Lagonda's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by theengel View Post
    Every time I talk to a helpdesk, I start with:
    Perhaps we can rig our phones up so when the help desk answers our call they get a recorded message that says;

    "If you are a technician with at least 10 years field experience please press 1"
    "If you are a wet behind the ears university graduate that never has had toner under your fingernails and is blindly following a flow chart please press 2"
    "If you're not sure not sure which end of a screwdriver to hold please hang up now"
    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  3. #523
    Technician douglasdouglasv's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Funny story. I had a school with a 60 cpm call in with an error code, It was a waster toner code. Removed the rear cover and something jumped at me. Needless to say caused a commotion. People crowded around to watch as I removed a mouse whose tail was caught in the gears. I'm carrying him out and they begged me not to kill him. I walked outside and threw him in the shrubs. When I returned they asked what I did. I told them, I walked around the parking lot until I found an unlocked car and threw him in. They all grabbed their key fobs and started clicking. Didn't care about the mouse's life any longer.

  4. #524
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts nekowaiidesu's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    I got a call to the 8th and top floor of some building inhabited by a teachers union and some . When I arrived and said that I was there to fix the copier on the 8th floor they told me "The top floor is for CEOs and management only." I was having a pretty bad day and my blunt response was "WELL, do the CEOs and management want their 200kg copier fixed or is someone going to bring it to me?"

  5. #525
    teacher-guide-expert-guru 2,500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    zoraldinho's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Customer today came in our copyshop with USB stick with recorded bussines meeting mp3 file.He wanted to have printed text of the meeting.
    Practice makes perfect
    If it ain't broke, don't fix it
    A picture is worth a thousand words
    If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself


  6. #526
    Master Of The Obvious 10,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    blackcat4866's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    My wife works in a medical related industry. One day she request a physicians order be faxed to her office. When it arrived, there were a few corrections to be made. The sender re-faxed the corrected document ... then requested that the original be faxed back when she was finished with it.

    It took 5 minutes of explaining to convince the sender that she was still holding the original in her hand. =^..^=
    If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
    1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
    2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
    3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
    4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
    5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.

    blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

  7. #527
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts nekowaiidesu's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    My manager told me about this story.. I'm not sure if he's taking me for a ride with some urban legend or if this really did happen - the latter is not unbelievable. It was quite some time ago I heard this, so I'm pretty vague. It seemed believable since my manager included the company name and many other details that I've since forgotten... but here's the gist of it:

    So one of the sales guys years ago went his clients to push a new cross-cut shredder that came into stock. He was at one of the businesses, owned by an old man (a ruthless businessman too), giving his presentation about the benefits of the shredder; showing off how fast it is, how many pages it can take, etc etc. Seemed to him most of the company were impressed, but what our salesman really needed was to get the big-boss on board since it would ultimately be his decision if his company invests in a bunch of these shredders or not.

    He invites the man up to test the machine for himself. Boss says "sure, I have this paper here actually" as he approaches. Inserts his document into the shredder and watches the blades cross cut the page into confetti. He pauses, not entirely impressed, looks at the sales guy and asks "So how long does it take for the first copy to come out?"

  8. #528
    Certified Konica Expert 2,500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Synthohol's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    in my first year in this biz i went into an account and had to pee.
    i was brought to the machine for CQ problem, i asked for the mens room key and she told me her boss gave explicit instructions not to let me "leave" until the issue was resolved.
    no this didnt go the way your mind is headed, so i asked again and said id only be a minute. she said she didnt want to be fired for letting me "leave" the machine.
    urgency level 9 is now in play so thinking about all the career choices id have if i just up and did something stupid.
    i said to her "so if i find the problem i can have the bathroom key?" she said absolutely.
    i reached in my toolbag, grabbed my little hammer and opened the doc feeder and smashed the platen glass.
    i said "i found the problem and have to order the part so can i NOW have the key?"
    she gave me the key, i took care of business, grabbed my tools and left the key in the pile of shards and left.
    never heard from that customer again. they didnt even call my office to complain.
    needless to say i closed the ticket complete.

  9. #529
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    ZOOTECH's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by Synthohol View Post
    in my first year in this biz i went into an account and had to pee.
    i was brought to the machine for CQ problem, i asked for the mens room key and she told me her boss gave explicit instructions not to let me "leave" until the issue was resolved.
    no this didnt go the way your mind is headed, so i asked again and said id only be a minute. she said she didnt want to be fired for letting me "leave" the machine.
    urgency level 9 is now in play so thinking about all the career choices id have if i just up and did something stupid.
    i said to her "so if i find the problem i can have the bathroom key?" she said absolutely.
    i reached in my toolbag, grabbed my little hammer and opened the doc feeder and smashed the platen glass.
    i said "i found the problem and have to order the part so can i NOW have the key?"
    she gave me the key, i took care of business, grabbed my tools and left the key in the pile of shards and left.
    never heard from that customer again. they didnt even call my office to complain.
    needless to say i closed the ticket complete.
    I might have just opened the front door, and pissed (with the power cord unplugged).
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  10. #530
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by ZOOTECH View Post
    I might have just opened the front door, and pissed (with the power cord unplugged).
    Whaaat.... Where's is your spirit of adventure... leave the power cord plugged in.....

    I stepped over an electric fence one day an got zapped(40Kv) on my right inside leg just below my right testicle.... Oh sh!!!!!!t yeeeer... NOT RECOMMENDED for the faint hearted.... Took me ten minutes to get off the ground, an at least another hour of "you look white ,are you alright dear" from my wife.
    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
    •••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••

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