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  1. #1
    Senior Tech 250+ Posts
    Top Morons of 2006

    Ctl-Alt-Del's Avatar
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    Top Morons of 2006

    I got this in an email and thought I would pass it along.



    TOP MORONS OF 2006

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
    Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
    An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY!
    A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT???
    Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
    A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
    In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo)!

    8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
    Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

    Just goes to prove most Californians are one french fry short of a happy meal!

  2. #2
    Village Idiot 500+ Posts wagon's Avatar
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    Just goes to show.... A brain is no guarantee of intelligence!

  3. #3
    Technician Xrox's Avatar
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    some good ones !!
    I'm just a "Toner Monkey"

  4. #4
    KonicaMinolta Tech. 250+ Posts CMB's Avatar
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    we had something similiar happen here in tallahassee this week. a man wanted on nine counts-of something. they did mention not paying child support for three different kids and mothers and assault with a tree limb. well someone was sitting home watching the Maury Polvich show on"your my baby daddy, and i'm going to prove it!" and there he was on stage and on national tv. local deputies said they will be waiting for him when he comes back.
    http://christianoutdoorsman.com/forums/
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    Lewis Digital
    630-1 Capital Circle N.E. | Tallahassee, FL 32301
    Telephone: 850.222.4418

    Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 1 Peter 2:12

  5. #5
    Secret Agent Agent86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xrox View Post
    some good ones !!

    #2 is the winner.

    PS. Love the shoephone, I have one just like it

    Missed it by that much.

  6. #6
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts Wild Bill's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Why pick on People from California?

    "Just goes to prove most Californians are one french fry short of a happy meal! "

    Come on now, why you pickin on us Californian people?
    Most of us are cool. We don't go surfing every day and we aren't all a bunch of liberals. I love boating but have never left my trailor on while launching. Granted that was a funny story, but don't buy into stereotypes.
    mmK? Drugs are bad.

  7. #7
    Cheeto
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    What a bunch of dip-shits!

  8. #8
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts Lance's Avatar
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    Kill me!
    I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali...

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