Things you would love to say to a customer

[sdrawkcab]

Yes your right, That was a f%@king stupid question.

Do you have an in-grown dick and are you slowly f%@king yourself to death

Are you a professional comedian

I'm surprised your IT expert son doesn't know what an IP address is

What are you going to do for a face once the Monkey wants it's arse back

[wagon]

Copier won't turn on?

Did you buy it dinner and rubs its back first?


(I've actually used that one)

[banginbishop]

its a bag of sh*t, its fu**ing old and you need to pay for parts - GET A NEW MACHINE!

You here again - oh f**k off you twat

can you fix it - well this is my screwdriver either stick it up your ass or start removing the screws

can i just take a copy - are you fu**ing thick?

how long you going to be? - long enough

[TJ001]

Are you here again?- Yes Mr customer i missed you for the last 10 months!
Can i make a copy quick?- Sure go ahead and try.(She actually closed the front door and pressed the start button while the whole inside of the machine was stripped) DUHHH!!
Are you gonna be long?- No Mr customer, im just waiting for you to f-off so i can get into your coffee machine.

[Shadow1]

Actually used this one right after things sorta started getting cleaned up from hurricane Katrina:

Customer: "Oh! Are you fixing our copier?"

Me: "No, M'am, I'm installing a nuclear reactor in it, so next time we have a hurricane the copier will still have power, and you won't need lights because you'll all glow in the dark."

Heads started popping up over the cubicles - the ultimate prarie dogging. Needless to say they still remember me.

[Koosie]

haha! Looking at the posts I'm getting the impression that fixing a copier is much easier that handling the customer! Or is it the copier that gets on our nerves and then we take it out on the people around us?

[Rob Sandberg]

This will get fixed much faster with you in the other room.

I was onsite training with another tech when he said this to a customer.
The guy went into the other room.

Rob S

[mrwho]

Is your idiocy natural or did you have to practice it a lot?

[fixthecopier]

I drove 4 hours yesterday, to a rural area near the mountains, to pick up a shredder because the add oil light was blinking.


"Some people were never meant to own complicated things like office equipment. By the way , how long will I have to drive before the banjo music I hear stops"

[Tim C]

1. OK who has been sitting on the Glass again?! We may have to do a line up.
2. I understand how you feel, if it were me I'd feel the same way.

3. This repair comes with a " CLEAR THE DOOR WARRANTY" incase you were wondering.

4. It may not have been doing this before I got here..."It is NOW" deal with it.

5. We do charge even if we can't fix it...Its not our fault you have a piece of crap copier.