Jokes

[fixthecopier]

I think it is an ep4000 or 5000

[anka monki]

I think it is an ep4000 or 5000

......walks into a bar ????

anyone got the next line

[anka monki]

...and asks for a gin and toner

(mmm... speaking of which)

[BLADE]

and a copyglass of blackberry niptest

[10871087]

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

[10871087]

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

[10871087]

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things, During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember


Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!

Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs..

She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

[10871087]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants..'

[Mr Spock]

Sign above the urinal

Why are you looking here,
The jokes in your hand!!

[mjarbar]

Two goldfish in a tank

One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
______________________________________________

A secretary is going on her lunch break when she notices her clueless boss standing in front of the shredder. The secretary walks up and asks if he needs help.
'Yes, please!' says the boss 'This is very important'
'Glad to help,' says the secretary as she turns on the shredder and inserts the paper.
'Gee, thanks,' says the boss. 'I only need the one copy.'
_______________________________________________

Politicians and babies nappies have one thing in common.

They should be changed regularly, and for the same reason!