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  1. #31
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Smart ass responses you've gave to customers


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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    Whenever I get the ole "it was running 200lbs paper fine before" i say "i believe you, but remember most cars can go 100mph but if you try that everyday it will break down" or same variation of that idea.

  2. #32
    Not a service manager 2,500+ Posts Iowatech's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    I don't know how relevant this is, but anymore if I'm told "we'll just call you if there are any more problems" after I tell the users the machine is is fixed, I'll go back to the machine and run between 100 and 200 more prints through the machine to make sure that is unlikely to happen right away.

  3. #33
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts Debs1964's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    Years ago, after several visits to a customer who was using very cheap paper that was over A4 size and kept jamming (I had already told them about this and suggested that they should feed it SEF if they were not prepared to get proper A4 paper), they insisted that I fix it! So I stood back, pointed at my tool case, and told them that if they could find the magic wand amongst my tools then I would fix it for them...I do believe I never went back to that account after that.

    Being a female tech I regularly get some helpful person in an office tell me that the copier isn't working when I walk up to it, my stock reply is "there wouldn't be much point in me being here if it was"
    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

  4. #34
    RTFM!! 5,000+ Posts allan's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    Customer complains about color matching on a small powder rotary printer. He was trying to print photos from his digital camera. The 2nd time i was called back for this i was left alone in his office with camera laptop and printer. Took a picture in the room of a magazine cover and printed it. Color matching was good from Minolta camera to Minolta printer. So to fix the problem he had i adjusted the screen to match the printout. Silly but happy customer. Now couple of years later i know how to calibrate screens and printers the proper way.

  5. #35
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    When telling someone the document feeder was not designed to feed stacks of paper that had been tri-folded and mailed back to her, complete with coffee stains and scotch tape...

    "The other machine we had could do it"

    me..."Well you really screwed up when you let that magic piece of technology get away"
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  6. #36
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts kingarthur's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    had a customer that always used to give me a hard time in her office, one day she said to me "i want you to stay here until it's fixed, even if it takes all night!"....i replied "fine....which side of the bed do you want"....she glared at me...then burst laughing, after that she treated me differently
    Tip for the day; Treat every problem as your dog would.....If you cant eat it or f*ck it....then p*ss on it & walk away...

  7. #37
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts PeterG's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    Walked into a local schools admin office full of middle aged women.
    The lady in charge announced loudly, "Are you here for a service".
    I quickly replied, "Sounds good to me. But I was only going to look at your copier".
    She turned scarlet & burst out laughing. It bought the house down.

  8. #38
    The Wolf 2,500+ Posts mojorolla's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    Customer : Can I axe you a question?
    Me : Can I stab you an answer?


    Failing to plan is planning to fail!!!

  9. #39
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    Fixing a machine at the local police station... scratch that - Fixing an idiot cop who thinks the machine should be able to run paper that reminds me very strongly of the corrugated cardboard box that it came in and he tells me, "what do you mean its out of spec? We run it all the time and it doesn't usually give us any problem."

    I tried, I swear I did, but I just couldn't hold this one in... "I drive drunk all the time... its not usually a problem."

    You've heard the expression,"cop an attitude?"

    He knows my vehicle.
    He knows the license plate number.
    I'm sure he now has my home address...

    Fortunately the rest of the precinct thought it was hilarious.
    73 DE W5SSJ

  10. #40
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts Exok's Avatar
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    Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

    I use this one often. When a customer asks me if they can do anything to keep their problem from returning I always say, "Yes, stop pressing the green button on the front panel. That breaks more copiers than anything I've seen."

    When the machine I'm working on is all apart and a customer walks in and asks me if they can make a copy, my reply is, "That depends on whether or not you brought a pencil with you."

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