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Thread: THE ASS COPIER

  1. #1
    East Coast Imaging 2,500+ Posts
    THE ASS COPIER

    SCREWTAPE's Avatar
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    THE ASS COPIER

    The Ass Copier 5000 is the ideal business device for reproducing cheeky materials.
    For longer than anyone can remember, ass-copying technology has always been too far "behind" the times, taking up the rear in function-specific business innovations. However, there is a new business product available which is expected to give the rump-replicating market a good kick in the pants--the ass copier.

    Most business photocopy machines are still black and white. While the base model ASS 5000 uses standard toner, the ASS 5001 is a full-colour machine with a special skin-tone palette for more accurate reproductions--without constant recalibration. The manufacturer claims accuracy for everyone from the whitest white to the most tanned black--and everyone in between.

    At a stellar 20 cheeks-per-minute the machine is fast enough for "run-and-grab" moments when you know the boss is just around the corner. A special teflon-like coating on the glass means smears, smudges, and streaks are easy to remove.
    The bottom line is that the ASS 5000 and ASS 5001 are the business solutions to meet your ass-copying requirements.

    The manufacturer has plans to expand their product line in the next two years with a PC scrotum scanner, a virtual pelvic mapper, and a digital ass camera. They're cheeky products that'll do in a pinch.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Canon Copier Repair Service. Sales, Parts & Toner. NYC/NJ area. Contact:East Coast Imaging Solutions,LLC

  2. #2
    Master Of The Obvious 10,000+ Posts
    THE ASS COPIER

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    Funny... that looks like an older Lexmark MFP. =^..^=
    If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
    1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
    2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
    3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
    4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
    5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.

    blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

  3. #3
    Field Supervisor 1,000+ Posts RRodgers's Avatar
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    lol
    Color is not 4 times harder... it's 65,000 times harder. They call it "TECH MODE" for a reason. I have manual's and firmware for ya, course... you are going to have to earn it.

  4. #4
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts neergish's Avatar
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    hehe, I love the subtle angle on the seat that forces the occupent to lift there left leg to push the copy button.

  5. #5
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts audioimaging's Avatar
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    There was a SNL spoof commercial a few years back with the same premise. I believe they called it the Assmaster. It had a contoured glass for more comfort.

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