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  1. #1
    Gimp 500+ Posts JSC's Avatar
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    2010 darwin awards

    You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2010 Darwin awards.

    8th Place
    In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

    7th Place
    A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

    6th Place
    While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

    5th Place
    Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

    4th Place
    Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

    3rd Place
    After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds
    from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

    HONOURABLE MENTION
    Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed

    RUNNER UP
    Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then
    tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

    AND THE WINNER IS...
    Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
    The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
    It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.... 'shit happens'

    IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!



  2. #2
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts TonerMunkeh's Avatar
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    Total, sheer, complete and utter genius. Haven't laughed that hard in a while. Cheers JSC!

    Computers are serious tools, Michael!

  3. #3
    Gimp 500+ Posts JSC's Avatar
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    HONOURABLE MENTION
    Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed


    How do you have sticks of dynamite lying around in your car??????????????????????????????????



  4. #4
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts gwaddle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSC View Post
    HONOURABLE MENTION
    Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed


    How do you have sticks of dynamite lying around in your car??????????????????????????????????
    You don't?


  5. #5
    grumpy old git 500+ Posts banginbishop's Avatar
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    i saw one of thse at a customers - next time im there i'll get a copy. Think one was bungee jumping using octopus legs but he didnt measure the distance to the floor?


  6. #6
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by banginbishop View Post
    i saw one of thse at a customers - next time im there i'll get a copy. Think one was bungee jumping using octopus legs but he didnt measure the distance to the floor?


    Just go here. they have archives Darwin Awards: Darwin Awards

    Democracy is still the worst form of government, except for all the rest of them.

  7. #7
    Master Of The Obvious 10,000+ Posts
    2010 darwin awards

    blackcat4866's Avatar
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    Amazing!

    So stupid that it must be true. =^..^=

    If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
    1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
    2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
    3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
    4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.


    blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

  8. #8
    All things Konica Minolta 1,000+ Posts Stirton.M's Avatar
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    "Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds"

    Although hilarious, I have to point out that some of these shooters obviously did not aim on some of their shots....


    "Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls."
    ---Groucho Marx


    Please do not PM me for questions related to Konica Minolta hardware.
    I will not answer requests or questions there.
    Please ask in the KM forum for the benefit of others to see the question and give their input.

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