comic relief

[CMB]

I rear-ended a car a few days ago.The other driver got out of his car. He was pissed ... and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy!"I said, "OK, then which one are you?"

[Copier_Guy]

That was a good one. Here's another.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

[CMB]

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing!."


Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think there's another one coming."



Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" Said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby "No, don't be in a hurry

to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.



The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, . .. . . . . . .
"You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"

[Cheeto]

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

[10871087]

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Hmmm... I think that would get me killed

[Copier_Guy]

One night at a club little red riding hood and the big bad wolf were getting their groove on. After hours of dancing and leading each other on, they went back to his place. He asked her "come on please just let me stick it in." Little Red Riding hood replied 'Stick to the story motherf***er, EAT ME!'


(They Do The Same Thing)

[ZOOTECH]

Not sure of the manufacturer, but wouldn't it be nice to have a machine take care of a "problem customer" like this?
Paper Jam - paperjam.wmv @ ZippyVideos.com - Free Video Webhosting

[Copier_Guy]

Not sure of the manufacturer, but wouldn't it be nice to have a machine take care of a "problem customer" like this?
Paper Jam - paperjam.wmv @ ZippyVideos.com - Free Video Webhosting

That was pretty good. Order me a few of those!!!

[wagon]

The intent of the ad is fine (I like it!!) BUT AA paper? It is JAM PACKED in itself! (At least, the last ream of it I bought was!)

[Copier_Guy]

I meant the copier. I have a few customers I'd like to introduce it to. I liked the part where he SMACKED her upside the noggin with the set of documents. The same thing you picture yourself doing while you're standing there holding a perfectly fine copy of documents, smiling, looking concerned and thinking, IS THIS CHICK INSANE!!!!!!! while she tells you it didn't do that before you got here.