Customer: This machine is always breaking.
Me: So quit breaking it.
Customer: The color quality on this machine Sucks.
Me: So does the quality of your paper. You have the Porche of copiers and you are filling it with regular Gas.
Customer: Do you get MLK day off?
Me: No, I'm not black. I am a veteran and I don't get veteran"s day off. (Got called on the carpet for this one.)
Why do they call it common sense?
If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?
I've let a few expletives off at customers, Mostly under my breath, usually sends them scurrying away. I've been doing this long enough now to fight sarcasm with sarcasm and I find some customers give you respect after that, others just leave you alone.
I almost planted a customer oneday, he was a rather unpleasant nobody working in a printroom at a school. He would shout and scream at us from the time we arrived, the oneday he was standing so close to me screaming his head off that his gob was landing on my face. I put my tool case down and had the full intention of coming back up with an uppercut, but thankfully common sense took over. I picked up my tool bag spun around and headed out the door. Got on the phone to my manager and explained the situation and that I was seconds away from laying him out. The manager told me to chill for a few mintues, go back in ignore him do my job and if he continued I should leave.
I went back in, told him I was going to look at the machine and would be better if he left me alone.
This was over 15 years ago. I think I went to the main office after that and complained about the way he had been carrying on with me and that I was not perpared to deal with him if it continued. I seem to remember he calmed down after that
Oh, I did that.....ONCE !Originally Posted by Herrmann
make a note to yourselves to never ever give your cell number to customers
Went to a school and ofcourse the teachers there had broken it....again. Spoke to an IT guy at the school as he wanted to give me a hard time about how piss poor the machine was. I explained to him most calls are due to damage. The others are services and other problems. He then continued to tell me how no matter how many times he had turned the machine on and off after not finding the jam that the ES453 (Toshiba) instead of showing the error code E030 it started to come up F105 (or some F10 code). After the lecture he gave me I went to fix the machine. The hard drive was broke due to the amount of times he had flicked the switch on and off. I put the exit sensor back in postion and replaced the hard drive as the smart guy had broken it.
I asked him to come and test the machine and when he went over he went red and started shouting at me in the staff room infront of everyone pretty much. I had replaced the hard drive, lost all the department codes and meter readings. When he paused to breathe after about 5 minutes into his rant I was starting to loose my cool. Through gritted teeth I asked him why do you replace hard drives on computers for (with him being an IT guy). He looked around the staff room and told me when idiots turn off the computers and dont shut them down, it damages the hard drives. I asked him what he had done to the machine before I arrived and with a smug smile he said I turned it on and off to try and get the error code off.
I then told him all these machines have hard driives including this one to which he replied 'I know this I have read the manual'.
I then went on to say 'So when he turned it on and off what did he do to the hard drive'.
He looked at me and I looked back (romantic right). Then I just went 'Idiot'.
He stormed out and I got a coffee and biscuits from the teachers. A rare moment of satisfaction in this job.
It didn't say that I couldn't do it in the manual.
I remember telling this group of women in the office where I was working on their copier,
that the copy quality issues they were having was due to the Butt Cheek smear marks on the glass.
At first they were like "Who would have done that?" then they whispered and giggled a little, until
I suggested a Line Up to match up the marks..They were cracking up.... Another time a girl made a
copy of her Breasts and it jammed in the fuser. I was the lucky one to remove it, I was sure to ask everyone
there who's it was.
Lawyer by day, baker by night??
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~Thomas Edison
Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
Sorry my brain didn't do what my fingers told it to do.
Rob S
Another tech and I were once on a speakerphone conference call with an unhappy customer; just as we were hanging up, we heard the customer mutter "A**holes..." before the line disconnected. Our Service Manager, at the time, called them back and read them the riot act.
There was a guy that pursued our techs into the copy room every visit and proceded to harrass and badger them with unreasonable, unhelpful complaints... The sales rep, who had a relationship with the one who pays the bills, called to discuss the matter...
The mistreatment ceased and I heard later from another end-user that he was reprimanded for abusing vendors. He sheepishly kept his seat and back to us from then on.
I think the poor guy suffered from depression and was acting out.
***
Nothing too dramatic. I was troubleshooting a WC7345... Non-maintenance agreement, hourly paying customer.
Intermittent fault codes with certain, unidentified PCL files... As part of the t'shooting process, and endeavoring to correct the problem, I had reseated several key electrical components and updated to the latest base FW. It didn't fix the problem, but I was, of course, obliged to charge them for my time. I assured them we would continue to research the problem and I'd be in touch very soon.
This was unacceptable.
I was tired, hungry and quite frustrated by this time. Unsmiling, I said, "Well. What do you want me to do? I can downgrade your equipment to the old firmware, refund your money and tell you to have a nice day..."
The customer was speechless, but kind enough to let it slide. We've since rebuilt a good professional relationship.
-I
Does it count if you are dating said customer? LOL Cuz i could tell ya some of the wild convo's we have had.
Color is not 4 times harder... it's 65,000 times harder.
No.
-I
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