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  1. #11
    The Wolf 2,500+ Posts mojorolla's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Let us not forget the Mr/Mrs I Tried To Fix It Myself. When you arrive, their are foreign objects in the machine (scissors, pens, etc...). My favorite is gouging the fuser rolls with a sharp object. I cleared the jam with this butterknife but it didn't fix it....
    Failing to plan is planning to fail!!!

  2. #12
    Service Manager 250+ Posts Ianizer's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Quote Originally Posted by ragajungle View Post
    High-Larious!

    Is there one you can come up with for the end user who puts "Other" in the service request and gives you a number that is disconnected or brings you to a circular robo directory?

    Or the one that has no time to tell you whats the deal, or doesn't know what the problem is to begin with, much less where the copier is.... they just heard that a copier was broke.
    Ah!

    The Office Vigilante

    This one has little patience for normal breakage. He has a little too much time on his hands and, you can be assured, the entire Death Wish series on blueray. Director's Cut. He is a solution in search of a problem. And, let's face it, if he has to work, why shouldn't you?

    His Job Description is "Under Review", but that won't stop him from Observing & Reporting any percieved squeak, clank, clunk, smudge, squiggle, smell, or bad hair day.

    It may be that he enjoys the rabbit chase of trying to locate him directly, or that the clatter of D&D dice is preventing him from hearing the phone. Either way, he's not one for confrontation and would just as soon you didn't bother him.

    Whether the machine is fixed or not is of little concern. His work is done here.




    Quote Originally Posted by mojorolla View Post
    Let us not forget the Mr/Mrs I Tried To Fix It Myself. When you arrive, their are foreign objects in the machine (scissors, pens, etc...). My favorite is gouging the fuser rolls with a sharp object. I cleared the jam with this butterknife but it didn't fix it....
    And that's Mizz to you...

    The Counsellor

    The Devil may Wear Prada, but the clack of this menace's knockoffs is the reason Excederin Migraine is a best seller.

    This Jr. Associate has little time, but is only distant cousin to The Vigilante. She has clients to see, arguments to make, and a niece in Fastpitch. The High Gloss Inkjet Photo stock seemed a good idea at the time, but now... well, now it's your problem.

    And technically, nail-care products aren't "tools". Right? And besides, she never came near the Heater Thingy.

    You won't find her for "keyop instruction" because she's wearing her Jawbone 50 miles away in her Beamer.

    Best to just cut your losses and take an Excederin.

    ***
    Coming soon: The Senior Partner

    -I

  3. #13
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    charm5496's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    awesome post!!! I love all of them
    Accidents don't just happen. They must be carelessly planned.

  4. #14
    Service Manager 250+ Posts Ianizer's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Quote Originally Posted by charm5496 View Post
    awesome post!!! I love all of them
    Yeah, I crack myself up... I should take my act and hit the road... -I

  5. #15
    certified scrub 500+ Posts
    Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    R
    O
    F
    L

    this made my day, awesome!
    Idling colour developers are not healthy developers.

  6. #16
    Service Manager 250+ Posts Ianizer's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Quote Originally Posted by jmaister View Post
    R
    O
    F
    L

    this made my day, awesome!
    Well, feel free to join in. Just make it clean and make it good: No typical workday gripes. I'm recouping my mental health losses here. This is therapy for me.

    BTW, the characters herin are fictional. None refer to actual people, either living or dead.
    They are a heterodyne of my personal experiences, culminated into a single caricature.
    In short, they are a fig-newton of my imagicanation.

    The Senior Partner (aka- The Executive)

    He doesn't know you, but he knows your kind. And you're all alike.
    And he didn't get where he is today by letting any twerp like you play him.
    Besides, this whole "technician" thing is a racket to begin with.
    If it were a good machine, you, my friend, would be out of a job.
    And if he has anything to say about it, you will be.

    If the deferential din of, "Good morning, Sir!" doesn't give him away, the interns wetting themselves will.
    With a waft of $200 French cologne and rustle of silk suit, he is upon you.
    With steepled fingers and steely-eyed glare, the Interogation begins.

    Why is this machine always broken?
    Aren't you the third person who's been here?
    Are you new?
    Perhaps your supervisor should vist...
    And what is his name anyway?
    Is this machine a lemon?
    When will you be finished?
    Is this going to happen again?

    His Harvard MBA neglected to cover anything technical enough to soil manicured fingernails, so explanations are useless -- Speak English, son! -- but his mastery of Outlook is impecable. Soon, the barrage of emails will commence. And he plays golf with your C.E.O.

    Is there any of that Excederin left?

    -I

    Next episode: The Lead Te...
    Oh, I better not do that one... LOL

  7. #17
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Something new I feel should be incorporated here, and definitely associated with at least one of the types of people mentioned.

    Standing around watching the customer try to replicate the problem.

    "Well it's not happening now. What did you do?"

    "I stood here. You paid attention to what you were doing this time. Therefore, you didn't screw it up. You're welcome."

  8. #18
    I can turn a screw... 250+ Posts pacman's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Oh, this is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. #19
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Akitu's Avatar
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Oops, double post... Teach me for being so distracted I post the same thing 2 hours apart.

  10. #20
    Service Manager 250+ Posts
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    Re: Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

    Why is this machine always broken?
    Aren't you the third person who's been here?
    Are you new?
    Perhaps your supervisor should vist...
    And what is his name anyway?
    Is this machine a lemon?
    When will you be finished?
    Is this going to happen again?


    these are good questions if that the way it's been going. only in high volume accounts should know you by name unless they are bad about breaking things. I lost out in an account because of two many jams. 3 in two years. the last two jams were only 3 weeks apart though. wanted me to put new machines in at same monthly rates. could not do so they went elsewhere course I did not care.

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