Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

[fixthecopier]

Have you run into the person who can not remember that you are the tech who has always come out and worked on their machine. I have a set area to work and nobody does my calls unless I am out for more than a day. I can't count the number of times that someone starts telling me about the other guy who came out last time and what he told them to do. If I try to tell them it was me, they don't believe me. Sometimes I can get them to talk bad about the other guy and I join right in. I have started more than a few rumors about myself, just for kicks. I talk about how that other guy is real secret about his private life and different women are always coming to the shop looking for him. I have told other customers that did not remember me that the other guy spent time in a mental hospital and he never talks to anyone. Then the next time I show up it makes for some interesting looks and conversation when they think I am the "other guy".

[Ianizer]

Something new I feel should be incorporated here, and definitely associated with at least one of the types of people mentioned.

Standing around watching the customer try to replicate the problem.

"Well it's not happening now. What did you do?"

"I stood here. You paid attention to what you were doing this time. Therefore, you didn't screw it up. You're welcome."

Ah.

The Thrill Seeker

This one lives on the Edge, thrives on drama. Near-fail is the spice of life.

She doesn't really want to work with you over the phone (that would be entirely too traumatic), depite the fact that the matter is critical, crucial, urgent, and How-Soon-Can-You-Be-Here. Not to mention, it's also an Emergency.(Sigh... "PPP/PPP"). If she does work with you on the phone, her stress-induced panic, coupled with all the hysterical crying makes it impossible to assemble a coherent solution.

Her jobs are generally to the wire, or already late, since she formulates her deadlines based directly on system maximum speed performance.

On the bright side, rectifying her ID-ten-T Code will probably be the easiest call you do all day.

Remind her of your name (again), explain that 12pt. C2S is not "Plain Paper" and gently suggest multiplying time estimates by a factor of two...

... Now where did I leave that Excederin?

-I

[Akitu]

Was talking to a co-worker and this one came up... I figured I'd take a crack at it, though I think Ianizer could do a much better job of forming the description than I could.

The Googler

No matter what the problem seems to be, this guy has it figured out before he even calls you. Error code? He's got it and he can tell you exactly what it means (though it's a completely unrelated problem and he figured it out for the wrong brand to boot). He won't have any clue how to fix it, but he'll ask for the most technical terms possible to make it seem like he's a cool techie person too.
God forbid the googler gets hold of a screwdriver and is left alone with the machine, before you know it you'll get a service call about some "bad fusering" (Googler's term) and half the machine is scattered along the floor, the googler proudly holding up a corona wire saying "I took the drum out for you".

All you can do is repeatedly smash your head into a desk until you can't remember the wasted day...

[Ianizer]

The Googler

ROFLMFHO!

Spot on, sir.
Must be a sub-genus of Office Vigilante.

-I

[Akitu]

I do believe it's a new species in and of itself, mostly due to the fact the office vigilante could care less if it was done, whereas the googler is more of a helicopter type, so at the very least it would be more of a sub-genus of the helicopter.

[ptrflrs]

Have you run into the person who can not remember that you are the tech who has always come out and worked on their machine. I have a set area to work and nobody does my calls unless I am out for more than a day. I can't count the number of times that someone starts telling me about the other guy who came out last time and what he told them to do. If I try to tell them it was me, they don't believe me. Sometimes I can get them to talk bad about the other guy and I join right in. I have started more than a few rumors about myself, just for kicks. I talk about how that other guy is real secret about his private life and different women are always coming to the shop looking for him. I have told other customers that did not remember me that the other guy spent time in a mental hospital and he never talks to anyone. Then the next time I show up it makes for some interesting looks and conversation when they think I am the "other guy".

hah! thats great, now i have to try that, i thought i was the only very forgettable tech -i do work hard at it after all. on the other hand what about customers that remember you but having literally thousands of customers u don't remember them? unless ur the chesty, leggy, petite, blonde that wears the provocative skirts and perfume and flirts with anyone that visits ur office i'm probably not gonna remember you -there's a helicopter i don't mind hovering nearby while i work...

[excanonguy]

[QUOTE=Ianizer;239266]Well, feel free to join in. Just make it clean and make it good: No typical workday gripes. I'm recouping my mental health losses here. This is therapy for me.

BTW, the characters herin are fictional. None refer to actual people, either living or dead.
They are a heterodyne of my personal experiences, culminated into a single caricature.
In short, they are a fig-newton of my imagicanation.

The Senior Partner (aka- The Executive)

He doesn't know you, but he knows your kind. And you're all alike.
And he didn't get where he is today by letting any twerp like you play him.
Besides, this whole "technician" thing is a racket to begin with.
If it were a good machine, you, my friend, would be out of a job.
And if he has anything to say about it, you will be.

If the deferential din of, "Good morning, Sir!" doesn't give him away, the interns wetting themselves will.
With a waft of $200 French cologne and rustle of silk suit, he is upon you.
With steepled fingers and steely-eyed glare, the Interogation begins.

Why is this machine always broken?
Aren't you the third person who's been here?
Are you new?
Perhaps your supervisor should vist...
And what is his name anyway?
Is this machine a lemon?
When will you be finished?
Is this going to happen again?

His Harvard MBA neglected to cover anything technical enough to soil manicured fingernails, so explanations are useless -- Speak English, son! -- but his mastery of Outlook is impecable. Soon, the barrage of emails will commence. And he plays golf with your C.E.O.

Is there any of that Excederin left?

LMAO man you just made my day !

[Akitu]

Well, feel free to join in. Just make it clean and make it good: No typical workday gripes. I'm recouping my mental health losses here. This is therapy for me.

BTW, the characters herin are fictional. None refer to actual people, either living or dead.
They are a heterodyne of my personal experiences, culminated into a single caricature.
In short, they are a fig-newton of my imagicanation.

The Senior Partner (aka- The Executive)

He doesn't know you, but he knows your kind. And you're all alike.
And he didn't get where he is today by letting any twerp like you play him.
Besides, this whole "technician" thing is a racket to begin with.
If it were a good machine, you, my friend, would be out of a job.
And if he has anything to say about it, you will be.

If the deferential din of, "Good morning, Sir!" doesn't give him away, the interns wetting themselves will.
With a waft of $200 French cologne and rustle of silk suit, he is upon you.
With steepled fingers and steely-eyed glare, the Interogation begins.

Why is this machine always broken?
Aren't you the third person who's been here?
Are you new?
Perhaps your supervisor should vist...
And what is his name anyway?
Is this machine a lemon?
When will you be finished?
Is this going to happen again?

His Harvard MBA neglected to cover anything technical enough to soil manicured fingernails, so explanations are useless -- Speak English, son! -- but his mastery of Outlook is impecable. Soon, the barrage of emails will commence. And he plays golf with your C.E.O.

Is there any of that Excederin left?

LMAO man you just made my day !

There, I fixed it for you. Darn broken quote almost had me reading the same thing twice.

[Ianizer]

And now we can read it twice.
Glad to be of service, ECG
-I

[jmaister]

The watchful IT.

Faithful as he as the flush action of one's water closet.
Hockey he does not play but understood the game.
Poetic is he as Simile is the weapon of choice.
"But THIS~~ does that!" he exclaimed.
With pride and knowledge he stares you down, anticipating, anticipating...
But little does he know, Toner MOnkeh's got a chop, two chops, THREE!
"This color is wrong" he said.
Teeth and sound pipe he manifested
The cyan sky opened, En-light-enment was bestowed.
Menacing and energetic he is no longer
but amicable and soft spoken he became

Peace and serenity restored, another day in the Kennel spent.


Hope you like it.