A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything"
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A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything"
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender ask "Why the long face?"
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
A dyslectic walks into a bra.......................
At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.
Guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender looks up and says "Where did you get that ape?" Guy says, "This isn't an ape, it's a duck". Bartender says "I was TALKING to the duck".
Accidents don't just happen. They must be carelessly planned.
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Guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu." When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says Yes, he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon ON END-well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee." Indignantly the waitress says, "We don't serve that kinda stuff in here!" Guy says, "Funny... that's what I had in here yesterday..."
A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"The Screwdriver responds, "You have a drink named Murray?"
Failing to plan is planning to fail!!!
A duck walks into the bar and jumps on the bar. The bartender asks "What do you want?" The duck ask "Got any Grapes?" Bartender replies "no" and duck leaves. Next day duck walks in again and asks "Got any grapes", Bartender says "No" Duck leaves. Next day duck walks in and asks "Got any grapes". The bartender replies "Look you stupid duck, I told you before No and if you come back and ask for grapes I will nail your feet to the bar!" Duck jumps down and leaves only to reurn the next day jumps up on the bar and asks..."Got any Nails?" Brtender says no. Duck says "Got any Grapes?"
Two blondes walk into a bar, they forgot to open the door.
Why do they call it common sense?
If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender, " i'll have two beers, one for me and one for the road".
Guy walks into a bar and ask for a bag of helicopter chips. Bartender replies, "sorry mate, only got PLANE chips here."
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~Thomas Edison
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third one ducked.
“I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins
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