Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #1021
    Adeptus Mechanicus Magos 500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    mjarbar's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by gwaddle View Post
    Oil Change instructions for Women


    Oil Change instructions for Men

    <SNIP>

    Money spent: Parts $50.00

    DUI $2500.00

    Impound fee $75.00

    Bail $1500.00

    Beer $40.00

    Total: $4,165.00

    Moral of story - don't change oil just drink beer...

    The impossible is easy - miracles take a little longer
    So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.

  2. #1022
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A farmer has three daughters who all have dates tonight.
    The doorbell rings and the farmer answers it, the boy says,"Hello i'm joe, i'm here for flo, we are going to the show, is she ready to go?" so she comes down and leaves w/ joe.
    The doorbell rings again and the boy says,"hello i'm eddy, i'm here for betty, we're going to eat spaghetti, is she ready?" and so they leave together.
    the doorbell rings a third time and the boy says,"hello my name is chuck..." The farmer shot him!

    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  3. #1023
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts gwaddle's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I know I should be ashamed of myself. Strangely though, I am not.

  4. #1024
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by gwaddle View Post
    Really not what I was expecting!

    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  5. #1025
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts Iowatech's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #1026
    The Wolf 1,000+ Posts mojorolla's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Failing to plan is planning to fail!!!

  7. #1027
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    It's been a while since I was able to post here... Got a few good ones.

    What is worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car outside an abortion clinic?
    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

    There's a collection of jokes far worse than that... I'm skimming through them to determine which one will accelerate my first class trip to hell the most.

    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  8. #1028
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts gwaddle's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I thought I should add something intellectual to the thread.

    Attached Images Attached Images
    I know I should be ashamed of myself. Strangely though, I am not.

  9. #1029
    Major Asshole! 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Not sure if a repeat, but...

    bbfe002a6fda4804da9939d1a83ac70a.jpg

    ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
    Mascan42

    'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'

    Ibid

  10. #1030
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by mrwho View Post
    Not sure if a repeat, but...

    bbfe002a6fda4804da9939d1a83ac70a.jpg
    So funny, but totally politically incorrect!!!

    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

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