Joke of the Day

[skynet]

Billy : What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
Morten : No idea
.....................

What do you call a fish with no eyes ?

Fsh.

[HenryT2]

What did the fish say when it ran into a concrete wall ? ..............

DAM

[ZOOTECH]

For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,
leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.

[Shadow1]

I guess it's not a joke in the strictest sense, but it made me laugh - Excellent marketing and product placement. Well played Hershey's... Well played!
HersheyMarketing.jpg

[mrwho]

I guess it's not a joke in the strictest sense, but it made me laugh - Excellent marketing and product placement. Well played Hershey's... Well played!
HersheyMarketing.jpg

Explain it to me - I'm not familiar with the product...

[Shadow1]

Explain it to me - I'm not familiar with the product...

You're on you own this time - have your wife explain it to you, unless one of the ladies here would like to chime in.

[mrwho]

You're on you own this time - have your wife explain it to you, unless one of the ladies here would like to chime in.

I recognize the products on the right shelf - it's the middle and left ones I'm not familiar with. And my wife can't help me either - we just don't see those where we live.

[Shadow]

OK, as we get older we have to be aware of issues like this.

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane’s voice. “Ken” she barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” Diane retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car?”

[skynet]

Man walks into a bookstore and asks the shopkeeper if they have the new self-help book for men with small cocks. She says, "I don't think it's in yet." He replies, "Yeah that's the one".

[zed255]

I recognize the products on the right shelf - it's the middle and left ones I'm not familiar with. And my wife can't help me either - we just don't see those where we live.

Does the combination of PMS and chocolate mean anything to you? For your enlightenment, the chocolate is in the middle of the feminine products....