Joke of the Day

[mjarbar]

Have you heard that Mickey mouse & Minnie mouse are getting a divorce?

Yes It's sad,but Mickey went to see a divorce lawyer and explained what was going on and why he wanted a divorce.The lawyer was shocked and told Mickey he would have to do some checking and for Mickey to come back in a week.

The following week Mickey showed up and the lawyer told him,"I've been investigating your allegations and I don't think you can prove that Minnie is crazy."

"Crazy?" Mickey asked."I didn't say she was crazy,I said she was f*****g Goofy!!!"

[NeoMatrix]

Mortin goes into town this day and buys a brand new secondhand GT Falcon. (Same as MAD MAX). A red one cause it goes fast.

Mortin is on his way back from town with his new Falcon when see his brother Billy riding his push bike back from town. Hey Billy say's Mortin " Do you wanta a lift dare bro?"
"Where am I gona put me push bike dare bro it won't fit in da back." Says Billy.
Well bro we can tie a rope around da handle bars and I'll giv ya a tow." Ok say Billy, but you don't wanna go to fast. Nah I won't go fast dare bro. If I start goin to fast, den you ring da bell on ya bike a coupla times and I will slow down.

So off they go, Mortin in his Super Fast GT Falcon and his Brother Billy on his push bike tied with a length of rope to the back of Mortins Car.

On the way home Mortin pulls up at a stop sign next to a flash GTS Monaro. The guy in the Monaro revs his motor like he wants to Race Mortin. The Guy in the Monaro leaves the stop-sign in a cloud of tyre burning smoke. Mortin reconds he can do that, and off he goes after the GTS Monaro in hot pursute.

Further down the highway there is copper with a radar gun checking traffic. The Monaro and the Falcon go flying pass the radar at great speed. The copper jumps on his two way radio and calls to his Sargent of police in the next town for assistance.

Copper : Sarg there is a Super Fast GTS Monaro travelling at great speed toward you. DON'T WORRY ABOUT BOOKING HIM.
There is a Super Fast GT Falcon travelling right behind him bummer to bummer : DON'T WORRY ABOUT BOOKING HIM.
There is a Black Dude on a push bike ringing his bell trying to pass them both : BOOK HIM.....!

[Shadow]

Dr.Seuss for adults

ATT00003.jpg

[ZOOTECH]

I don’t make them up………….I just pass them on…………

☼



When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid…but he says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then, it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity…and I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first.... but then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was Bush's fault.

Please be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

[Gift]

just watch:

[Shadow1]

Impossibilities.jpg

[Hansoon]

Ricoh Cleaning 2.MP4 - YouTube

What a Moron. I'd like to know how many drums are being prematurely replaced after people following that video....

But at least now we know where the on/off switch of the vacuum cleaner is located.

Hans

[Shadow1]

Epic Fail.

Buzz Lightyear FAIL.jpg

[gwaddle]

just watch:

Ricoh Cleaning 2.MP4 - YouTube

I sure hope that wasn't put out by Ricoh. I must repeat what the other guy said. What a moron.

[kyrenecopy]

On the way to work this morning I pulled up behind one of those huge full size pickup trucks, duelly tires on the back, the works. On his bumper was a sticker that read: "Buy a hybrid, I need the gas!"