Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #1981
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts HenryT2's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    5Days.jpg

    I know just how she feels !

    "The Senility Prayer" . . .
    God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

  2. #1982
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    dressing for success...http://i.imgur.com/hG26jpo.jpg

    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  3. #1983
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts Debs1964's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

  4. #1984
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Debs1964 View Post
    Brings to mine an old joke....:

    How do french women hold their liquor ......?




    By the ears....

    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  5. #1985
    AutoMajical Resolutionist 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Debs1964 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NeoMatrix View Post
    Brings to mine an old joke....:

    How do french women hold their liquor ......?




    By the ears....

    Reminds me of another old joke: A man walks into a bar, the barkeeper say's what'll you have? the man say's what do you got? The barkeeper say's Liquor 'er up front, Poker 'er in the rear!!!!!

    Mystic Crystal Revelations

  6. #1986
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    "Knock, knock."
    "Who's there?"
    "Sara!"
    "Sara who?"
    "Sara reason you're not laughing at my knock-knock jokes?"


    Best told over the phone to a dispatcher named Sara, who does NOT like knock-knock jokes...


  7. #1987
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    LAST KISS
    Back on July 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
    She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss.
    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
    After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
    "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.


  8. #1988
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day



    I'm not sure how many houses I could last before calling a cab.

    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  9. #1989
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by ZOOTECH View Post

    I'm not sure how many houses I could last before calling a cab.
    Would you be able to call a cab ?...

    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  10. #1990
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoMatrix View Post
    Would you be able to call a cab ?...
    Actually, I tried to hail a Dominos pizza delivery once thinking it was a cab.

    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

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