Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Coke in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!".
What is brown and sticky?
--A Stick
What is brown and sounds like a bell?
-Dung
What is brown and sounds like a fog horn?
-Poop! Poop!
A lovely young maden was about to get married to the love of her life.
She was really worried about the consumation of her wedding night,so she sort council in a confession with her local minister before the big night.
Women : Minister I have a confession "I going to be married soon, but I have a problem."
Minister : That's lovely my dear. What is your problem?
Women : I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex.
Minister : How can we help with your problem.
Women : Well I need to ask some personal questions about a man.
Minisiter : That's fine my child ask anything you wish.
Women : What's that thing that hangs between a mans legs?
Minister : That is call a penis.
Women : Minister what is the big round ball on the end of the penis that looks like a german helmet ?
Minister : That is the head my child, that is call the head of the penis.
Women confused : Ok...
Women : And what is it when the penis gets hard.
Minister : That is an errection my child. It happens naturally when the man is arroused.
Women : Well what do you call those two round things hanging in a sack about 18inchs down from the head?
Minister : .... For your sakes love I hope it's the cheeks of his bum.
Last edited by NeoMatrix; 06-22-2012 at 03:45 AM.
Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
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Am I the only one who think's wearing gloves during maintenance is for sissies?
' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
Mascan42
'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'
Ibid
I'm just an ex-tech lurking around and spreading disinformation!
I don't wear gloves..not afraid to get dirty...and I've come to the conclusion that if I wear khaki slacks I will be working on B/W machine and if I wear black slacks it will be a color machine day....
"In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it."
I use exam gloves for every job without exception since the days of liquid toner and I don't care you're calling me a sissy. I have at least always clean hands. My wife would HATE having her precious parts being touched (or more) by dirty fingers with black nails.Am I the only one who think's wearing gloves during maintenance is for sissies?
I buy Nitril Medical Exam gloves directly from the factory in large quantities than they are cheap. Never had any negative comments on it except that once the factory made a mistake and shipped pink coloured ones instead of the usual blue. The remarks and giggling behind my back from customers, especially the girls, was hilarious.
Gloved-Hands err..... -HANS!
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