Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #2161
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts DWise's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.

    One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.

    Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong. 'Yes, Nurse Tracy,' said Mr. Wallace. 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

    Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'

    The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.

    He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

    'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.'

    'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'

    'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'
    Do for one what you wished you could do for everyone. - Andy Stanley

  2. #2162
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep.
    Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
    Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute.
    "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
    Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
    Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
    What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
    "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  3. #2163
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
    My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
    I replied, "my life."
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  4. #2164
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts Debs1964's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Akitu View Post
    True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
    My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
    I replied, "my life."
    You can get out early for good behaviour...I should know lol
    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

  5. #2165
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I think it's bad behavior that get you out..Emujo
    If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.

  6. #2166
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by emujo View Post
    I think it's bad behavior that get you out..Emujo
    Unless you're really good at making it look like an accident...
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  7. #2167
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts Debs1964's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by emujo View Post
    I think it's bad behavior that get you out..Emujo
    I'm good girl and I got out 3 times
    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

  8. #2168
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Debs1964 View Post
    You can get out early for good behaviour...I should know lol
    Yours or his?

  9. #2169
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts Debs1964's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    Yours or his?
    I can assure you, with number 3, his behaviour was anything but good. Although, maybe that's just my interpretation, after all, Santa Claus gave him a brand new girlfriend on Christmas Day lol
    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

  10. #2170
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Debs1964 View Post
    I can assure you, with number 3, his behaviour was anything but good. Although, maybe that's just my interpretation, after all, Santa Claus gave him a brand new girlfriend on Christmas Day lol
    I didn't know Santa started re-gifting? Cheap bastard...
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

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