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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #221
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    :: Favourite Restaurant ::

    Customer : "Waiter --what the Helllll is thisss ?"
    Waiter : "It's bean salad sir."
    Customer : "I don't care what its been, what the hell is it now."
    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
    •••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••

  2. #222
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Definition of buffet:

    Big
    Ugly
    Fat
    Folks
    Eating
    Together

    My pastor told my this one tonight...

    Yes, he's Baptist.
    73 DE W5SSJ

  3. #223
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    :: Acronym's and Metaphor's ::
    ( Off topic )

    Definition of buffet:

    Big
    Ugly
    Fat
    Folks
    Eating
    Together
    Brings to mind the old mathematics trigonometry metaphor from days gone by.

    In Australia we normally use A,B,C to represent the 3 sides of a triangle when using trigonometry. But most of the calculators used today have E,D,F for the trig Sin,Cos,Tan.
    So I found myself having to use the following metaphor to represent the E,D,F trig equations.

    (S)ome (E)ormous (F)at { S = E/F }
    (C)itizens (D)ie (F)rom { C = D/F }
    (T)heir (E)ating (D)istorder { T = E/D }

    Sounds a bit extreme at first but once you hear it, then it is committed to long term memory.
    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
    •••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••

  4. #224
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoMatrix View Post
    :: Acronym's and Metaphor's ::
    ( Off topic )



    Brings to mind the old mathematics trigonometry metaphor from days gone by.

    In Australia we normally use A,B,C to represent the 3 sides of a triangle when using trigonometry. But most of the calculators used today have E,D,F for the trig Sin,Cos,Tan.
    So I found myself having to use the following metaphor to represent the E,D,F trig equations.

    (S)ome (E)ormous (F)at { S = E/F }
    (C)itizens (D)ie (F)rom { C = D/F }
    (T)heir (E)ating (D)istorder { T = E/D }

    Sounds a bit extreme at first but once you hear it, then it is committed to long term memory.
    Hmmm... Nerd humor... I don't get it.

    Please don't explain it to me.
    73 DE W5SSJ

  5. #225
    PHD in Sh!t Disturbing 250+ Posts Shadow's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, 'Not guilty.'
    'T
    hat's grand!' shouted Reilly. 'Does that mean I can keep the money?'
    $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.........................................................................Lock & Load

  6. #226
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    An old Indian was asked the name of his wife.
    He replied, "Wife Name - Three Horse."
    "That's an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse. What does it mean?"
    "It's an old Indian name. Means Nag, Nag, Nag."
    Why do they call it common sense?

    If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?

  7. #227
    Field Supervisor 2,500+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Since were on this subject....


    A young indian lad walks to his fathers TeePee and says "father, how do you come up with our names"?. His father says " When you children are born, I open the flap of our Teepee and look out at all mother nature has to offer, the 1st thing I see is what I name you...Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking"?

  8. #228
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts igi's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Gang of bikers pull next to old dinner,

    the one biker wearing a helmet with hornes( looks like viking)

    in the dinner an old indian just keep on stearing at him the whole time

    after a while the biker with the helmet could not help himself,but to ask

    the old indian why you are looking at me the whole time

    the indian replied: many moons ago i slept with a buffalo

    i think you my son


  9. #229
    Major Asshole! 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.

    He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.

    He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"

    The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.
    See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'....so she socked me a good one."

    The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'
    But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch.'
    ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
    Mascan42

    'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'

    Ibid

    I'm just an ex-tech lurking around and spreading disinformation!

  10. #230
    PHD in Sh!t Disturbing 250+ Posts Shadow's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it.
    Ke
    enan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
    Fi
    nnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.
    $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.........................................................................Lock & Load

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