Page 26 of 1111 FirstFirst ... 161718192021222324252627282930313233343536761265261026 ... LastLast
Results 251 to 260 of 11106

Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #251
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Akitu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Thompson, MB
    Posts
    2,596
    Rep Power
    97

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Lagonda View Post
    Our son asked for a watch for his birthday............so we let him!
    The lesbians next door gave me a rolex, I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  2. #252
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    skynet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    You know by now
    Posts
    2,575
    Rep Power
    167

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Two sperms are racing to reach the ovule. After a minute, one asks the other, "Hey, how much longer until we reach the ovaries?" The other answers, "Keep swimming foot! We haven't even passed the tonsils yet!

  3. #253
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Herrmann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Germany, NorthRhine Westfalia
    Posts
    792
    Rep Power
    45

    Re: Joke of the Day

    You have to set priorities

    prioritäten.jpg
    If sometimes you feel a little useless, offended and depressed always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm of hundreds of millions!

  4. #254
    Major Asshole! 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    mrwho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Combing the desert!
    Posts
    4,286
    Rep Power
    86

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Just stumbled on this one - please raise your arms those who find at least 5 sentences you wish you could use with your customers/boss/colleagues at work.

    25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often


          • 1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

            2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

            3. How about never? Is never good for you?

            4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

            5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

            6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

            7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

            8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

            9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

            10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

            11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

            12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

            13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

            14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

            15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

            16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

            17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

            18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

            19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

            20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

            21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

            22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

            23. No, my powers can only be used for good.

            24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

            25. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
    ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
    Mascan42

    'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'

    Ibid

    I'm just an ex-tech lurking around and spreading disinformation!

  5. #255
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Sunshine State QLD.
    Posts
    3,514
    Rep Power
    104

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by mrwho View Post
    Just stumbled on this one - please raise your arms those who find at least 5 sentences you wish you could use with your customers/boss/colleagues at work.
    What! only limited to 5 ?
    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
    •••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••

  6. #256
    PHD in Sh!t Disturbing 250+ Posts Shadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Vancouver Island
    Posts
    455
    Rep Power
    34

    Re: Joke of the Day

    $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.........................................................................Lock & Load

  7. #257
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Akitu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Thompson, MB
    Posts
    2,596
    Rep Power
    97

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    After the horrible day I had Wednesday, and the equally bad followup yesterday, this has actually made me laugh for the first time in 48 hours, and was much needed.
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  8. #258
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    ZOOTECH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Insane Diego, CA
    Posts
    3,365
    Rep Power
    102

    Re: Joke of the Day


    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  9. #259
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Hansoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3,187
    Rep Power
    94

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Hahahaha....... that last one of you Zootech was funny indeed. The way you tell them......



    Hans

  10. #260
    Major Asshole! 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    mrwho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Combing the desert!
    Posts
    4,286
    Rep Power
    86

    Re: Joke of the Day

    I told my wife to get me a newspaper.

    She replied "Don't be silly - use my iPad!"

    That fucking spider never knew what hit it!
    ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
    Mascan42

    'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'

    Ibid

    I'm just an ex-tech lurking around and spreading disinformation!

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Get the Android App
click or scan for the Copytechnet Mobile App

-= -= -= -= -=


IDrive Remote Backup

Lunarpages Internet Solutions

Advertise on Copytechnet

Your Link Here