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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #301
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    POOR BOB
    Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.


    The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
    'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.


    When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
    'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'


    A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'


    Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
    Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
    Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it . She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.


    The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


    BOB's funeral will be on Friday.
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  2. #302
    Adeptus Mechanicus Magos 500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Q: Did you hear about the bloke with five penises?
    A: His pants fit like a glove

    I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
    To be honest,I only wanted to rough him up a bit
    The impossible is easy - miracles take a little longer
    So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.

  3. #303
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I don't know how many people have see this ?
    I don't know if this Lady and her postal address is real or not, but it's bloody funny for the posty.Google Image Result for http://johns-jokes.com/afiles/images/linda-lykes-the-cockwell-inn-erbum-tillet-herts.jpg

    If you can't click the above link let me know.
    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
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  4. #304
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    URGENT!!!

    The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
    If you get WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!
    This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

    Then, take two good friends to the nearest liquor
    store and purchase one or all of these three antidotes - Really Urgent Medicine (RUM), Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)
    or Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

    You should immediately forward this medical alert to at least five of your friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  5. #305
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Found this beauty in a Kyocera document processor service manual, unfortunately I don't think its a joke,
    Attached Images Attached Images

  6. #306
    PHD in Sh!t Disturbing 250+ Posts Shadow's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    image001.jpg

    just a little looking around first would solve this issue!!!!!
    $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.........................................................................Lock & Load

  7. #307
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    image001.jpg

    just a little looking around first would solve this issue!!!!!
    This looks shopped, I can tell from the pixels.
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  8. #308

  9. #309
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Akitu View Post
    This looks shopped, I can tell from the pixels.
    Her hiking buddy(cameraman) decided to help her out with her constipation problem.

    The bloke behind the camera knew the lion was there, an how much bowel motion she would have once she found out.
    It's amazing how fast you can run with you pants down around your knees. Hundred metre hurdles in 16 sec's is no problem.
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  10. #310
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by skynet View Post
    Found this beauty in a Kyocera document processor service manual, unfortunately I don't think its a joke,
    You refering to X' changes state from pic to pic ?
    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
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