Joke of the Day

[KenB]

My wife hates it when I steel the kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I willing to take.

I know when I'm whipped.

[ZOOTECH]

A medical school professor is giving a lecture, using slides to discuss different cases. He brings up
an X-ray image and says, "As you can see class, this patient limps because his right fibula and tibia
are radically arched."
Turning, he points to a student, and asks: "You there, what you do in a case like this?"
The student stares at the X-ray, ponders for a moment and then replies, "I suppose I would limp, too."

[slimslob]

[fixthecopier]

two men are in a pub...
“I want to kill my wife”, says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there”, says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hitman?” asks the man. “Sure am”, replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can”, replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound, and give the client two further kills for free”. “Great”, says the man”could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother in law”. “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10.00am”. “Right”, says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.

[ZOOTECH]

two men are in a pub...
“I want to kill my wife”, says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there”, says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hitman?” asks the man. “Sure am”, replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can”, replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound, and give the client two further kills for free”. “Great”, says the man”could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother in law”. “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10.00am”. “Right”, says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.

I need a better 'bookmark' for that GROAN button.

[slimslob]

two men are in a pub...
“I want to kill my wife”, says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there”, says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hitman?” asks the man. “Sure am”, replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can”, replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound, and give the client two further kills for free”. “Great”, says the man”could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother in law”. “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10.00am”. “Right”, says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.

I need a better 'bookmark' for that GROAN button.

I know exactly where mine is. I use it frequently on Facebook.
Groan.jpg

[Gallus]

Everybody needs a groan button.

[slimslob]

Everybody needs a groan button.

You're free to save the image if you want.

[slimslob]

[slimslob]