Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #3971
    Retired 5,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF HISTORY

    1. STORMY DANIELS
    2. O. J. SIMPSON
    3. TED KENNEDY
    4. BILL CLINTON

    WHY ? (you ask)

    1. STORMY IS A HOOKER.
    2. O. J. IS A SLICER.
    3. TED CAN’T DRIVE OVER WATER, and
    4. BILL CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH HOLE HE PLAYED LAST.



  2. #3972
    Retired 5,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
    ‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied ,
    ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.
    The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week ,Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
    Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
    Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’


  3. #3973
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
    ‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied ,
    ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.
    The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week ,Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
    Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
    Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’

    and said --RUN! FOREST!, RUN!!!.....

    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
    [Exchange manual acquisitions, PM's CTN members only. ]
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  4. #3974
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.
    One of the many questions on human anatomy asked was to rearrange the letters “PNEIS" into the name of "an important human body part which is most useful when erect."
    Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
    The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.

    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  5. #3975
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    My friend Karen and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once; Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. It was then that Karen opened up to me and said that she was in a fourth state, crippling depression. I said, "That's not fair, you can't count Missouri twice."

    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  6. #3976
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Robert Muller


  7. #3977
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    The furniture store keeps calling me...but all I wanted was that one nightstand.

    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  8. #3978
    Geek Extraordinaire 2,500+ Posts KenB's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Why aren't "Number 2" pencils brown?

    Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the fire hydrant.

  9. #3979
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts Iowatech's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Lies, damn stinking lies!
    Cracker-lies.jpg


  10. #3980
    Retired 5,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Stolen from qwaddle on Facebook.

    Dreams are weird:
    Due to lack of sleep last night, I had to take a bit if a nap this afternoon. Actually, I probably would have taken one anyway. Anyway, I was back working on copiers and we got a call to come work on one. We were pretty sure it was just a dirty sensor or something simple like that, so naturally, all three of us (I'm not sure who the other two guys were) went on the call.
    We drove from here to Utah (about 900 miles/1450km) and then hired a car and driver to take us up into the mountains. He drove us to within a mile of the customer's house and we had to walk the rest of the way. That's when I woke up, so I'm not sure if we fixed it or not.


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