Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #4011
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    The last 2 images I have posted are from the Cats group on social media MeWe.com. I wonder if they tack on coding where only members can see them. Most of the actual jokes I share are from gwaddle's Facebook.
    The original catread image URL. I will try to post your same catread URL again, see below.
    You may have to do an image screen capture if the original site requires login viewer status....

    htttps://img.mewe.com/api/v2/photo/30nsAh8_yir0nT8ZJAcq8BdhXStrWxboQq83waGKCT5bTH8Gpf TlQl1_YxM/768x768/image.png

    https://img.mewe.com/api/v2/photo/30...x768/image.png

    ------------------- URL CLICK -----------
    The website declined to show this webpage
    HTTP 403
    Most likely causes:


    • This website requires you to log in.
    What you can try:
    [IMG]res://ieframe.dll/bullet.png[/IMG] Go back to the previous page.Go back to the previous page.


    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  2. #4012
    Retired 5,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoMatrix View Post
    The original catread image URL. I will try to post your same catread URL again, see below.
    You may have to do an image screen capture if the original site requires login viewer status....

    htttps://img.mewe.com/api/v2/photo/30nsAh8_yir0nT8ZJAcq8BdhXStrWxboQq83waGKCT5bTH8Gpf TlQl1_YxM/768x768/image.png

    https://img.mewe.com/api/v2/photo/30...x768/image.png

    ------------------- URL CLICK -----------
    The website declined to show this webpage
    HTTP 403
    Most likely causes:


    • This website requires you to log in.
    What you can try:
    [IMG]res://ieframe.dll/bullet.png[/IMG] Go back to the previous page.Go back to the previous page.
    Sounds like I was right. You have to be a member of MeWe to see pictures from there group. If you want to see a lot of cat pictures cone join MeWe.com. They also have a group for all animals called my kids have paws.


  3. #4013
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts bob marley's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?"
    The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation

    Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

  4. #4014
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    An 18-year-old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
    The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

    Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who wasa da pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

    The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

    Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
    A mature and distinguished man with gray hair who is impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

    He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:

    "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

    I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.

    I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

    Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

    If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account!


    If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

    However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

    At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him.

    "You a-gonna try again."




  5. #4015
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #4016
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Bob, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes

    like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he
    bought them.

    He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to
    show the missus. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the
    kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?
    Karen at age 83 looked him over and replied, "Nope."

    Frustrated , Bob stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked
    back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.
    Again he asked Karen, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
    different NOW?"

    Karen looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bob, what's
    different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and
    it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.

    Furious, Bob yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN,
    KAREN?"

    "Nope. Not a clue", she replied.

    "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!

    Without missing a beat old Karen replies, "You shoulda bought a new
    hat.



  7. #4017
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: Dont go in there! Dont go in the church, you moron!


    She is watching our wedding video again.



  8. #4018
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


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  10. #4020
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by izzynut View Post

    Keep an eye on those southern boys! Just because they talk funny does not mean they are stupid.
    that's right we didn't just fall off the turnip truck last night!


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