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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #4021
    Retired 5,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day




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  4. #4024
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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  5. #4025
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #4026
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    My wife has these days when she wants us to “talk about things.”


    We were discussing aspects of our future so when it was my turn, I asked her, “What will you do if I die before you do?”



    After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.



    Then she asked me, “What will you do if I die first?”



    I replied, “Probably the same thing.”


  7. #4027
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by izzynut View Post

    random snip

    Then she asked me, “What will you do if I die first?

    I replied, “Probably the same thing.”
    Read the joke to my wife......

    And the @#% fight starts because you finally agree with them....

    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  8. #4028
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    today?

    Phil B.


  9. #4029
    Retired 5,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day




  10. #4030
    Trusted Tech 50+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

    “Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow and I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”

    “Yes, sir!” – answers Seamus.

    The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Seamus, how was your day?”

    Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.

    “The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”

    “Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.

    “The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Maalox, sir.” – says Seamus.

    “Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” – asks the doctor.

    “Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including her bra, her panties and laid down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”

    “Thunderin’ Lord Jesus, Seamus, what did you do?” – asks the doctor.

    “I put drops in her eyes.”


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