A police officer stops a motorist and approaches the car: "Do you know you were doing 90miles per hour down this road" says the officer "But I haven't been out an hour!" says the driver, "Oh very funny - what's your name?" "Why - Don't you have one?" "Oh so your not telling me! Have you got a police record?" "I've got 'Walking on the moon' if you want it!"
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~Thomas Edison
Alright...
So there were this man and woman who were having sex in a parking lot with a bunch of witnesses present. The police arrested them and eventually they end up in court along with several of the witnesses. When they got around to questioning the first witness, who was a run-of-the-mill soccer mom, the judge asked, "What did you see?". The soccer mom replied, "A man and a woman fucking in the parking lot". The judge said, "Five dollar fine for cursing in court". The second witness, who was a kindly old custodian for a local elementary school was asked, "What did you see?". His reply was, "A man and a woman fucking in the parking lot". "Five dollar fine for cursing in court" the judge said once again. The third witness, a streetwise, young thug from the projects was asked the same question, "What did you see?". To which he replied,
"The pants flew down
he shoved his dick in
if that's not fuckin'
you can charge me ten!"
But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard... to be the Shepherd.
Little Johnny, Tommy and Billy where all late one day for their school class.
Little Tommy walks in to the classroom and the teacher asks him, "Where have you been Tommy"?
Little Tommy replies "I've been sticken cracka's(fireworks) up toads(frogs) asses miss."
The teacher gives him a whack on the backside and say's "don't say ass say rectum", get into class...
Little Billy walks in to the classroom and the teacher asks him "Where have you been Billy" ?
Little Billy replies "I've been sticken cracka's up toads asses miss."
The teacher in turn gives him a crack on the backside and say's "don't say ass say rectum", get into class...
Little Johnny full of cheek comes watlzing in to the classroom and the teacher asks him "Where have you been Johnny"?
And Little Johnny replies "I've been sticken cracka's up toads asses miss."
The teacher turn gives him a crack across the backside and say's "don't say ass say rectum".
Little Johnny looks up at her and says "f@#ing oath we wreck-em"...
Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
•••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••
$hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.........................................................................Lock & Load
A young man moved out from home and into his first apartment. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young blonde lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears?! Look at these breasts; they are a full 39 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."
littleredgirl
WTF ! What is the point of posting someone else's entire message without adding anything?
Last edited by skynet; 04-10-2012 at 07:40 PM.
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