Joke of the Day

**HenryT2** · 12-14-2012

Originally Posted by John_Betong

>>> We are taught to return our bodies to God just like we got them.

Ashes to Ashes ..... Dust to Dust .....
Not worried about my body ... just my SOUL ................

**JustManuals** · 12-14-2012

Originally Posted by John_Betong

>>> We are taught to return our bodies to God just like we got them.

Why does this not apply to guys that have had their weenies snipped?

Because the circumsision ritual is a covenant with God. It is performed on the 8th day after birth. The mother isn't allowed in the room when it's done and when the 'mohel' does it, every guy in the room closes his eyes and winces. It's a joyous occasion for everyone except for the kid who gets a drop of wine on his tongue; I get the creeps thinking about it.

Paul

**Akitu** · 12-14-2012

Originally Posted by manuals4you

Because the circumsision ritual is a covenant with God. It is performed on the 8th day after birth. The mother isn't allowed in the room when it's done and when the 'mohel' does it, every guy in the room closes his eyes and winces. It's a joyous occasion for everyone except for the kid who gets a drop of wine on his tongue; I get the creeps thinking about it.

Paul

There are several medical reasons that may require the need for a circumcision as well. I know of a little boy who is now of the age of 3, originally left intact he was fine until near his 2nd birthday when he contracted a rather serious infection in that region... The only option that would have saved his genitals was a circumcision. Much more painful for him at the age of 2 where he is capable of communicating the pain he is feeling and will remember it a touch longer than a newborn infant. The fact there is a religious basis to some of them is merely an interesting quirk to why they are performed, and the people who have such an issue with it need to take a step back and analyze what it is exactly they're getting uppity about.

Is it their own? No. Will they be handling it? Not likely. Does it affect them in any way, shape, or form? Definitely not, unless it was done to them.

The only downside is that it's irreversible, otherwise there's nothing wrong with it and some people need to worry about what's in their own back yards rather than their neighbour's front...

Originally Posted by John_Betong

>>> We are taught to return our bodies to God just like we got them.

Why does this not apply to guys that have had their weenies snipped?

Quoted for relevance.

**emujo** · 12-15-2012

Originally Posted by Debs1964

Oh dear, I think I may be more man than woman LOL

As long as you're not "waiving a weiner" then I'm Ok with anything else!!! Emujo

**Brian8506** · 12-15-2012

Back to jokes!

The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish
captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.

It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between
the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,

'I don't like Chinese..'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbour, that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah!
That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!'

Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg,...no mattah...all the same

mjarbar · 12-16-2012

A tourist couple are visiting Moscow with their russian guide Rudolph. They decide they want to visit Gorky Park, but Rudolph looks at the sky and tells them they can't as it will rain soon.

Sure enough a few hours later it starts to rain. Next day the couple want to go to Red Square, but again Rudolph looks at the sky and predicts rain. Sure enough an hour later it starts to pour down.

The next day the couple decide they want to go to the Moscow woods but again Rudolph looks at the sky and tells them it wil rain.

"It can't rain," complains the husband. "Look at the sky, there's not a cloud to be seen."

His wife remarks, "I think we'd better give the woods a miss today. By now we know that Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

**JustManuals** · 12-16-2012

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park…” then the electric power goes out.
Bob’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?”
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?

**Shadow** · 12-16-2012

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids “What do you need at home?” 1st kid says "A computer". Teacher replies "That'd be very useful." 2nd kid says "A new lawn mower" and gets a similar response. Little Johnny pops up and says: "At my house we don't need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something. Little Johnny replies, "Nope I'm sure! When my sister started dating a Muslim, I remember Dad saying, "Well, that's the last fucking thing we need."