Joke of the Day

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Thanks to Akitu:

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice... picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, nor to make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

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SLIDING DOWN THE BANISTER OF LIFE


As You Slide Down the Banister of Life--- Remember:

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called .... 'Ministers Do More than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant Flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies, tried it once: The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes, now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment ... for enjoying sex.

Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel ... because those that matter... don't mind ... and those that mind ...don't matter!

And As You Slide Down that Banister of Life You Should Pray That All The Splinters Are Pointed The Other Way...

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