Joke of the Day

[DWise]

I was packing for my business trip and my three-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this’, and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, 'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,’ pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied, ‘What happened to my booger?'

[slimslob]

I can assure you, with number 3, his behaviour was anything but good. Although, maybe that's just my interpretation, after all, Santa Claus gave him a brand new girlfriend on Christmas Day lol

So you threw the rat out for bad behavior.

[copier addict]

I can assure you, with number 3, his behaviour was anything but good. Although, maybe that's just my interpretation, after all, Santa Claus gave him a brand new girlfriend on Christmas Day lol

I need to get on better terms with Santa Claus apparently.

[Ctl-Alt-Del]

Catholic Confessions...

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'

[NeoMatrix]

I was packing for my business trip and my three-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this’, and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, 'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,’ pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied, ‘What happened to my booger?'

Hahahaah... That was priceless.... haha... don't you wish you could catch that on tape....?

[NeoMatrix]

I can assure you, with number 3, his behaviour was anything but good. Although, maybe that's just my interpretation, after all, Santa Claus gave him a brand new girlfriend on Christmas Day lol

It might pay to dress up as Mrs Claus this christmas Debs' and see what Santa has to offer...

[Debs1964]

So you threw the rat out for bad behavior.

Unfortunately not, he walked out first thing Christmas morning and went straight to his other woman, but he still claimed he never cheated on me right up to the divorce lol

[ZOOTECH]

Unfortunately not, he walked out first thing Christmas morning and went straight to his other woman, but he still claimed he never cheated on me right up to the divorce lol

WOW, what an A-hole - I say you're better off without him!
Debs, you will find your match when you least expect it.

[Akitu]

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out.
It was going on 20 minutes at this point...
Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted:
"OK, OK! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!"

[Debs1964]

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out.
It was going on 20 minutes at this point...
Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted:
"OK, OK! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!"

This almost made me choke, so funny, but totally wrong, i can park a car far better than most men...or women lol