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Likes: One year I got rid of a worthless dishwasher.
Took a lawyer to do it, and cost me half my stuff.
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One year I got rid of a worthless dishwasher.
Took a lawyer to do it, and cost me half my stuff.
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
Sorry, saw it and passed it alongOriginally Posted by Debs1964
The impossible is easy - miracles take a little longer
Let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.
I use to sell vacuum cleaners --- that job really sucked!
"You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --
Women jokes, eh? Looks like I've missed out on a few things between working out of town and recovering from a touch of flu.
What's the difference between a woman and a golf ball?
The golf ball doesn't come back when you hit it.
Why can't women ski?
No snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.
How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
Let the bitch cook in the dark!
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
A man and woman are having sex, when her husband comes home early.
"Quick, hide!" she says, so the man grabs his clothes and jumps into the closet. The man hears the hushed voice of a young boy.
"Sure is dark in here."
"Indeed it is," the man responds.
"I have a baseball," says the boy.
"That's nice," he says.
"I'll sell it to you for $50."
"$50? That's a little steep for a baseball, son."
"Well, my dad has a shotgun. Wanna see that?"
"Tell you what, you have yourself a deal," says the man, and he pays the kid $50.
A week later, the man and the woman are having sex, when once again the woman's husband comes home early. Grabbing his clothes, the man jumps into the closet.
"Sure is dark in here," says the boy.
"Oh, it's you again."
"I have a baseball glove."
"Alright, how much do you want for it?"
"$700."
"$700? That's absurd!"
"Well, my dad has a shotgun. Would you rather see that?"
"Alright, alright, $700," so he pays the kid.
That Sunday, the father says to his son, "Go get your mitt, let's throw the ball around."
The boy says, "I can't, Dad. I sold my ball and glove."
"For how much?" he asks.
"$750."
"$750? Son, it's wrong to rip off your friends. I'm taking you to church for confession."
They drive to church and the boy kneels in the confession booth.
"Sure is dark in here," he says.
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
Why do brides smile on their wedding day?
Because they know they will never have to give another blow job.
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
I got pulled over by a female cop once. When I ask what was wrong, she said "UH, Nothing!"
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
A man walks into a costume party wearing nothing but jeans.
The host looks at him and ask what he is supposed to be.
"I am a premature ejaculation" the man replies.
Well why didn't you wear a shirt or shoes or anything else" ask the host
"I just came in my pants" he replied
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
A tech and a salesman walk into a bakery. When the clerk is not looking, the salesman grabs 3 cookies and puts them in his pocket.
"Look, I just got 3 free cookies" said the salesman.
The tech replied, "That's just like you salespeople, always stealing. I'll show you how to get them for free."
They both walk up to the counter where the tech says to the clerk "Would you like to see a magic trick?"
"Sure" said the clerk
The tech said he would need 3 cookies to do the trick. The clerk gave him the cookies, and the tech promptly ate them.
The tech then said "Now it may look like I ate them, but take a look in his pocket"
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
Hey, how dare you plagiarize the joke I ripped off the internet only a few days ago! /sarcasm
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
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