Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #2261
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I call my weed the Quran, because burning that shit will get you stoned.
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  2. #2262
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post
    A tech and a salesman walk into a bakery. When the clerk is not looking, the salesman grabs 3 cookies and puts them in his pocket.

    "Look, I just got 3 free cookies" said the salesman.

    The tech replied, "That's just like you salespeople, always stealing. I'll show you how to get them for free."

    They both walk up to the counter where the tech says to the clerk "Would you like to see a magic trick?"

    "Sure" said the clerk

    The tech said he would need 3 cookies to do the trick. The clerk gave him the cookies, and the tech promptly ate them.

    The tech then said "Now it may look like I ate them, but take a look in his pocket"
    Quote Originally Posted by Akitu View Post
    Hey, how dare you plagiarize the joke I ripped off the internet only a few days ago! /sarcasm
    Well he did change the main characters.

  3. #2263
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    Well he did change the main characters.
    I'm sure I reposted myself with that joke, I threw in the /sarcasm as an indicator, but whoosh.
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  4. #2264
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Akitu View Post
    I'm sure I reposted myself with that joke, I threw in the /sarcasm as an indicator, but whoosh.
    damn, I thought I was ripping off a comedian I heard on xm radio
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  5. #2265
    Legendary Frost Spec Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post
    damn, I thought I was ripping off a comedian I heard on xm radio
    Hard to say, at over 200 pages there's bound to be reposts. It's hard being the compendium sometimes...
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  6. #2266
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    How about this...


    a salesman and a tech are walking down the road and see a dog kicking his balls. The salesman says "boy, I wish I could do that", and the tech replies "you better not, that son of a bitch might bite you"


    I have been telling that one for 30 years with various characters.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  7. #2267
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post
    How about this...


    a salesman and a tech are walking down the road and see a dog kicking his balls. The salesman says "boy, I wish I could do that", and the tech replies "you better not, that son of a bitch might bite you"


    I have been telling that one for 30 years with various characters.
    I'm certain that was posted very early on, and possibly reposted mid way. Still a good joke, regardless.
    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

  8. #2268
    worker drone 250+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    How about the man that observes a blind man with a seeing eye dog waiting for a bus. Soon the dog hikes it's leg and whizzes on the blind man. The blind man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a treat and proceeds to give it to the dog. The man can't believe this and asks the blind man "did you just reward that dog for pissing on your leg"? No said the blind man "I needed to find out where his head was so I could kick him in the ass"!

  9. #2269
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A blind man walks into a shop with his seeing eye dog.
    He picks the dog up by the tail and starts swinging him around his head.
    A shop assistant says to the man "can I help you sir ?"
    the man replies "nah I'm just looking around thanks".



    (probably a repeat.........)
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  10. #2270
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    I Googled "Who gives a shit"...
    My name wasn't in the search results...

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