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Wouldn't that be a cake job... a comedian who only tours retirement homes...Originally Posted by NeoMatrix
Nah just the alziemiers kicking in. With luck in a couple of more years we'll be able to tell the same jokes to the "same new people" every single day....
“I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins
When I was 6 I got coal from Santa. I decided to get back at the bastard, so the next year I poisoned the cookies. Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad.
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer is really screwed up now.”
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, butwhen the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his ontothe floor and shouted, "Quick!Spit'em out! They're assholes!"
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
Where does bad light go?
In prism.
Bill gates: So why don't you tell me why Bing failed.
Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.
Bill gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
Let it be known, that today I learned a new word and what it means, even after binging it... I mean Googling.
I think there is a distinct lack of knowledge or awareness as to the meaning of nescience...
<Thanks need to go to Google and Merriam Webster!!!>
3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious vampire amongst them.
The strongest one started 1st,
"watch this," He said as he flies so fast, about 100 miles/hour. After only 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth. "what happened?" they asked. "did you see that house over there?" "yes?" "well.. I killed the entire family and sucked the blood dry!" "wow!? fascinating, as expected from the strongest vampire"
Then the eldest one takes the next turn "watch and learn," he said as he flies even faster, about 120 miles/hour. After only 5 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth and his neck. "what happened??" they asked. "did you see that village over there?" "ye..yes?" "well.. I killed every last person on that village and sucked the blood dry!" "wow!? magnificent! truly amazing, we can expect no less from the eldest one!"
Finally the last turn belongs to the fastest one, "don't blink or you'll miss it" he said as he flies really fast, even faster than the other two, about 140 miles/hour. After only a mere 30 seconds, he comes back with blood all over his mouth, his neck, and his nose. "wh..what happened???" they asked. "did you see that big ass tree over there?" "ye..yes?!" "well.. I didn't"
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
Now we can officially say "Jan 8th is the day Akitu became senile"
If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.
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