Joke of the Day

**Akitu** · 03-19-2015

I told my friends I had a date with a really attractive girl. They told me she was imaginary; but the joke's on them, they are too!

**Akitu** · 03-20-2015

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."

**ZOOTECH** · 03-21-2015

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

**slimslob** · 03-21-2015

**NeoMatrix** · 03-22-2015

A women is wondering through her lakeside home one day looking for a quite place to settle down and read a book.
She see's her husbands boat full of fishing gear tied to the jetti.
She decides to take the boat out into the middle of the lake to find peace and quite.

A short time later a local fisheries patrol office pulls up along side the women in the boat.
Officer : "Madam I see you are out here fishing in the off season."
Women :" Oh no officer I'm not fishing, I'm just reading a book."
Officer : "It appears you have all the necessary tools, you could start at any time; I'm going to have to take you in."
Women : "Well if that's the case then Officer , I'm going to have to charge you with sexual assult."
Officer : "How can you prove that?"
Women : " Well it appears you have all the necessary tools; you could start at any time."

**emujo** · 03-22-2015

Originally Posted by ZOOTECH

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A "Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex"...Credit Jurassic Park.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A "Lickalotopus".. Emujo

**slimslob** · 03-23-2015

**Akitu** · 03-23-2015

Originally Posted by ZOOTECH

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no fucking eye deer.

**Akitu** · 03-23-2015

My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft.

I didn't believe it at first, but when I got home all the signs were there.

**Akitu** · 03-24-2015

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on copytechnet. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajox, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available scented with lemon or vanilla.