Joke of the Day

**gwaddle** · 07-23-2015

Originally Posted by Debs1964

Attachment 30001

Stealing.

**Debs1964** · 07-23-2015

Originally Posted by gwaddle

Stealing.

How do you think I got it

Gar the pilot · 07-23-2015

Police in Radnor, Penn., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head & connecting it with wires to the copy machine. The message " He's Lying" was placed on the glass and the police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect was lying. Believing the " lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed

**NeoMatrix** · 07-24-2015

Originally Posted by Debs1964

How do you think I got it

Did you steal clown suite?????? ..... Now I'm confused....

(Sorry it's Friday, I'm in one of my cheeky moods).....

**Debs1964** · 07-24-2015

Originally Posted by NeoMatrix

Did you steal clown suite?????? ..... Now I'm confused....

(Sorry it's Friday, I'm in one of my cheeky moods).....

I'll be in a cheeky mood too in about 9 hours when I finish work, I have trouble removing my behind from the sofa and getting out of the house at the moment

Gar the pilot · 07-24-2015

An old Hillbilly Farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning tell night ( and sometimes later ), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got ANY relief was when he was out plowing with his Mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the Old Mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately his wife began Haranguing him again. Complain, Nag, Nag; it just went on & on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killer her DEAD on the spot.

At the Funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a Woman mourner would approach the old Farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so constant , the Minister decided to ask the farmer about it.
So after the funeral , the Minister spoke to the farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head & disagreed with all the men.
The old Farmed said; " Well the women would come up & say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd my head in agreement",.. " and what about the men?" the Minister asked?

" They wanted to know if the mule was for sale "

**fixthecopier** · 07-25-2015

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.
Nothing was moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, collecting donations."
"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks.
The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."

**StrippedScrew** · 07-25-2015

Originally Posted by fixthecopier

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.
Nothing was moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, collecting donations."
"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks.
The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."

I cannot hit the like button enough! Can I donate a match?