Joke of the Day

[sdrawkcab]

A man is stuck in traffic on the Hume Highway at Bass Hill.

He asked a Police officer about the delay, as he is walking from car to car, speaking with each of the drivers.
The Policeman says, “There are three Muslims blocking the traffic and threatening to douse themselves with petrol and set themselves on fire if we don’t get them airline tickets to the Middle East. So we’re taking up a collection for them.”

The Man replies “How much have you got so far?”

The Policemen responds, “About 60 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning”

[StrippedScrew]

Put them with the politicians and solve a lot of problems at once! :-)

[Akitu]

Jack is dating this girl Paula. He takes her out five times before he finally gets her back up to his apartment for coffee. They're fooling around on the couch, they move to the bedroom, and they have sex.
After it's done, Paula glances over at the nightstand and sees the box of Trojans. It's a 12-pack, but there are only five left in there.
"What happened to the rest of them?" she asks accusingly.
"Well... I masturbated into them," he says.
She accepts the answer, but she's curious. When she's with a few guy friends two days later, Paula asks them about it.
"Do you guys ever do that?" she asks.
"Sure, all the time," her friend says.
"Really, you masturbate into condoms?" she responds.
"Oh, no! I thought you were asking if I ever lie to my girlfriend!"

[Iowatech]

How to Contemplate Your Past Decisions

[fixthecopier]

[fixthecopier]

I once went to a temporary tattoo parlor. When it wouldn't wash off I went back to complain, but the shop was gone.

[Akitu]

No evidence is good enough for a Creationist...
But no evidence is good enough for a Creationist.

[Debs1964]

No evidence is good enough for a Creationist...
But no evidence is good enough for a Creationist.

I had to read that 3 times

[bigwul]

I had to read that 3 times

Only three times - I had to Google it to be sure!!!

[Gar the pilot]

When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly Father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it,..So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the MOST beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

" I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with John that evening, and,..Three days later she became his stepmother!

Woman are so much smarter that men.