Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #3391
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by bob marley View Post




    As a man, I now want to touch it. I told the guy in the garden department that they should have never posted a sign telling people not to play with the wind chimes.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  2. #3392
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts bob marley's Avatar
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  3. #3393
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    After a battle between the Calvary and an Indian tribe, there was only one Indian standing. The Calvary captain told the Indian that because of his bravery he had decided to spare him. Just as the Indian was getting ready to depart, an army of other Indian tribes rushed over the mountain and overwhelmed the Calvary men. All were killed except the one Captain who was going to spare the last Indian. The Indian said " I will not be as generous as you and have decided not to spare you, but you may have 3 wished before you are scalped, then burnt at the stake". The Calvary man said "I'd like to talk to my horse for my 1st wish". The Indians thought it was a pretty strange request but let him. The Calvary man whispered something into the horse's ear and the horse galloped off. The horse returned about 1/2 hour later with a gorgeous naked blond on his back. The Indian said "great wish, you may use my Teepee with your woman before you die". A little later the Calvary man came out of the tent, and the Indian asked him what his 2nd wish was. The Calvary man said "I would like to talk to my horse again". He whispered into the horse's ear and the horse galloped off again. A 1/2 hour later the horse returns with a gorgeous naked brunette on his back. The Indians are very impressed and the chief allow him use of his Teepee again. After the Calvary man comes out of the Teepee again, the Indian chief asks him what his final wish is. The Calvary man again says "Id like to speak with my horse". The Indian chief brings the horse over and the Calvary man pulls the horse very close, grabs him by the ear and his mane and says "for the last time.....Posse!" Emujo
    If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.

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    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A man is following the Oregon trail and meets a man named Terry.
    "Terry? What a stupid name!"
    Terry killed him.
    He died from dissin' Terry.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  5. #3395
    Master Of The Obvious 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by fixthecopier View Post
    A man is following the Oregon trail and meets a man named Terry.
    "Terry? What a stupid name!"
    Terry killed him.
    He died from dissin' Terry.
    ***groan***
    If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
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    blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

  6. #3396
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by blackcat4866 View Post
    ***groan***
    Ready for another groan...


    Where do you take a dog that has lost its tale????

    A retail store...Emujo
    If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.

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    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    At a restaurant, a man sees an attractive girl sitting alone at the next table.
    Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
    "This is so embarrassing," the girl says, and she pops her eye back in place.
    "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy a drink to make it up to you. May I join you?"
    He agrees.
    The girls is good at keeping conversation, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common.
    He asks her phone number and then he compliments her:
    "You are the most charming girl I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
    "No", she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    How bad is the economy???




    • My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
    • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
    • CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
    • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
    • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
    • If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
    • McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
    • Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
    • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
    • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
    • A picture is now only worth 200 words.
    • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
    • The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    And, finally….
    * I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  9. #3399
    Senior Tech 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    The help desk.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING

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    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon. "Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?" "Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way, Jimmy do you own a lawnmower?" "Why yes I do" "Ok, that must mean you've got a yard" "Yup" "If you've got a yard, then you must have a house" "Sure do" "And if you've got a house, you probably have kids" "Three of them!" "Wow, then you must be a heterosexual male with a beautiful wife at home" "Yes, yes! This logic thing is pretty cool, sign me up!" Later that day Jimmy goes home and sees his neighbor Gary and tells Gary about his new college course. Gary says "logic? What's that?" "Well let me explain it like this", says Jimmy. "Do you own a lawnmower Gary?" "No, I always borrow yours" "Well then you must be gay"
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

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