Joke of the Day

[emujo]

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"

And again...LOL Emujo

[emujo]

In honor of "fix the copier"


BTW, it's porch, not Porsche. Emujo

[Iowatech]

2016-04-01-Invading-Cattlemen-and-Native-Americans.jpg

[fixthecopier]

I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles last night. My next trip to the bathroom could spell trouble.

[fixthecopier]

I think you left off the beginning of this joke...Emujo

I think you are right. I am getting sloppy in my old age.

[NeoMatrix]

I think you are right. I am getting sloppy in my old age.

Try the little blue pills...... so I've heard....... just saying......

[sdrawkcab]

I've started a band called 999 Megabytes.

We don't have a gig yet.

[jonhiker]

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Rory Mcllroy (the golf pro) drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in a typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is...

"Top o’ the mornin to ya"

As Rory gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"What are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Rory.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Rory.

"Aw, exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything...

[slimslob]

Police officer being questioned by a defense attourney during a trial:

Q: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?”

A: “No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
Q: “Officer — who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir. With my life.”
Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?”
A: “Yes sir, we do!”
Q: “And do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes sir, I do.”
Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes sir.”
Q: “Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”
A: “You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”

[The clk man]

Does "Fecal" Matter?

Hello everyone, I haven't been here in a while. I am looking for old friend, I have forgotten his online name here. Here's what I can remember he lives in lower Alabama and loves to drink beer, he is a great guy and I just wanted to catch up with him.