Joke of the Day

[emujo]

My wife says she thinks sex is much better on vacation...I sure hate that postcard..Emujo

[skynet]

My wife says she thinks sex is much better on vacation...I sure hate that postcard..Emujo

Did it come too soon ?


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[habik]

My wife says she thinks sex is much better on vacation...I sure hate that postcard..Emujo

Hahaha my lunch is spread over the dashboard! Good cracking joke, thanks

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[slimslob]

[slimslob]

And talk about having a bad day:

[allan]

And talk about having a bad day:

Well if that is the cost of freedom....

[jonhiker]

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman ... he's a guy who did everything right all the time.Like my coming along exactly when you needed a cab; things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody"

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazingguy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was somebody really special."

Cabbie:"'Oh hell there's more.' He had amemory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday and anniversary too. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix anything.Not like me, I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.ButFrank Feldman, he could do everything right"

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams.Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them, or take the wrong route.But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make them feel good.He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.He was the perfect man!I never knew him to make a mistake!No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger:"An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?

Cabbie: "Well ... I never actually met Frank.He died, and I married hiswife."

[mohan]

A man goes to the Doctor and says: ''My wife thinks she's a chicken''
Doctor says: ''No worries, we have a pill for that''
Man says: ''No, you don't understand! We NEED the eggs, but couldn't you just give me something for my feather allergy?, those buggers fly everywhere when we make love!

[TheBlueOrleans]

Two atoms walk into a bar.
One says to the other "I've lost an electron."
The other replies "Are you sure?"
The first says "I'm positive."

Admittedly, taken (and likely paraphrased) from Fallout 3 because I thought it was funny.

[emujo]

I was at a bar this weekend and the band sucked, they were so bad I screamed repeatedly for them to get off the stage. During the break the lead guitarist came over to me and said "If you don't shut up I am going to break this guitar over your head". I asked, "Is that a Fret"? Emujo